An image that the Lord has shown me in the past couple of months revolves around the transformation I am experiencing. He showed me that my hands were full, full of everything I had previously found my identity in: comparison, perfectionism, approval from others. When I released those and set myself free from that mindset, I opened my hands and allowed that false self to fall at the feet of Jesus. Now that my hands are open and empty, I am able to receive all that the Lord wants to fill them with: my true identity. Sometimes I am still tempted to resort back to picking up those aspects of my false self, but I know that what God puts in my hands brings incomparable peace and freedom and truth.
I was recently challenged to write my identity statement. This is a statement in which I asked the Lord who I was to Him. This is what He had to say:
Identity Statement
“I am Erin Lynn Cummings, beloved and cherished daughter. I am a vessel for the light of the Lord, bringing hope and joy into the dark places. I am an encourager to my brothers and sisters, and I serve them with genuine hospitality. I am a source of peace and comfort for the Father’s sons and daughters to confide in. I have value and am irreplaceable in the Kingdom. I am unique, and I am wanted. I have a deep heart and love for the people who are overlooked and discarded. I am worthy, but not because of my own works. I am filled with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. I have a purpose. I am called my name and loved by the Most High King, from everlasting to everlasting.”
Asking the Lord who He says I am filled me with so much joy, a joy that can only come from the True Source.
I don’t always believe all of these statements about myself everyday.
Sometimes the enemy tries to attack me with my thoughts. He tries to tell me that because I get frustrated, I am not joyful or full of love. He tries to tell me that because I get impatient, I am not an encourager. He tries to tell me that the Fruits of the Spirit cannot be in someone who has thoughts that aren’t always loving.
But I know that none of those thoughts are from the Lord, and therefore they are not true about me.
The biggest challenge that the Lord has called me into the past month is to depend completely on Him. In what I do, in my attitude, in my thoughts, He is calling me into deeper dependence. From small tasks that I could handle on my own, to big life decisions, He has called me to bring everything to Him and lay it all at His feet. As I have walked in this, I have seen that He can always do way more through me than I am ever able to do on my own.
This is hard, and it has taken a lot of intentionality.
I see it as how we would learn a new language. At first it is so hard and takes so much practice and repetition. Without dedication, this new practice won’t stick. But the more I practice, the more natural it will become. I will no longer have to intentionally depend on the Lord for everything because it will be second-nature to go to Him before trying to accomplish anything on my own. I can’t wait to walk through my life like that. I strive for that each day.
Some days are harder than others, but I know that growth comes in the hard moments. I am grateful that I know the outcome of this journey, though I a still walking through it. In Jesus I find confidence and certainty, and therefore I find peace.
Because Jesus has already won the victory, I am victorious also.
