99 days.
Double-digits.
This is how long I have until I am back h o m e.
I have been gone for 8 months now and have a little over 3 months left on the field. I really can’t wrap my mind around that.
Now the question I keep getting asked is, “Well, what are you going to do when you get home?”
That is a good question, my friends.
And it is one that I do not know the answer to. Not even in the slightest.
I had so many passions and interests before the Race, but now I feel like they have doubled! When I think about the future, I can see myself doing so many different things and being so happy doing all of them. And as exciting as that all is, it can also be overwhelming.
I started taking this to the Lord and dreaming with Him a little bit, but nothing has been super clear. I haven’t really gotten any specific direction or open door, about anything really. Where I will live, what job I will have, nothing. It started to consume my mind a bit (as most of you probably know, I like to have some sort of plan). I began to doubt that God would actually guide me or reveal His plans to me. My faith was weak.
One day I opened my Bible and began reading Hebrews 11. It hit me SO hard (go read it, it’ll probably do the same for you).
I have been hearing or reading stories from the Bible for my entire life. But sometimes I will read these stories without taking time to actually sit with them and try to understand the depth that they carry.
God has done some crazy, miraculous things.
He physically split the sea (more than once!!) in order to deliver His people!
He rained down manna (actual, physical food!!!) from Heaven in order to provide for His people!
He broke the massive walls of Jericho with mere shouts of the Israelites.
He walked on water and calmed storms with just a single word!
He made the lame walk, blind see, deaf hear, and mute speak!
He raised the dead to life!!
He created the ENTIRE world and everything in it!!
And these don’t even scratch the surface with His incredible, MIGHTY acts.
So I try to dwell on these MIND-BOGGLING stories and truly understand them, attempting to grasp just how POWERFUL and MIGHTY the God I serve is. It really hit me how weak I have been walking in my faith. Yes, I hear these things and I say that I believe them, but do I really, truly, believe that God possess all of that power? I do, but sometimes I think we have to sit in that revelation and marvel from time to time, because it is incomprehensible. But that is where faith comes in, believing and putting our hope in things not yet seen.
Then another realization hits me:
He is the same.
He hasn’t changed.
He hasn’t grown old and slow.
The same God that performed all those miracles is the same God that created me and is guiding me through life.
HOW INCREDIBLE IS THAT?!?!?!
It just leaves me speechless. And in so much peace. I don’t know much of anything to come. But if He can talk to Moses through a burning bush, I know He will speak to me as well. And if He can lead the Israelites as a cloud by day and pillar of fire by night, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that He will guide me also.
So now I am choosing to walk in blind trust, having no idea what’s to come and knowing the possibilities are endless. I am going to seek Him alone with my whole heart, knowing I will find Him (Jeremiah 29:13). My worry is now replaced with patient and excited expectancy for what God has in store.
“…let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith… let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful.” Hebrews 10:22-23 NIV
