Let me tell you a little story.
In high school, especially my junior and senior years, all I thought about was moving away. Of going to college as far away as I could, DEFINITELY not in the state of Virginia, and not looking back. I always had this feeling that I didn’t belong here, that I needed to get away and “find myself” – whatever that means when you’re 16 years old… And I actually did end up going to college out of state… for about 6 months. After 1 semester, I found myself extremely unhappy, and decided to move back home. To the one place I didn’t want to be.
Moving home was hard, to say the least. I hated Roanoke, I felt like there was nothing left for me here. Man, was I way wrong. I quickly found myself working 2 jobs that I LOVED, and I even stumbled upon a church that was held at my old high school that quickly became my home, my family. Weird, right? How God placed joy and new beginnings right in front of me, when I was so dead set on the fact that I needed to run, and run fast.
Fast forward to July of last year. The summer of 2017 was a hard one, to say the least. The church that I called home had merged it’s two locations into one campus, and I felt like everything was changing, and at a pretty rapid pace. I had moved about an hour away from everything I was involved in, and found it hard to get to church on Sundays when I had to get up at 4am to do so. A lot of other things happened in the month of July… but I’ll save those for another story 😉
Long story short I decided to give it (church, small group, most social activities) a break, and settle in to my new routine. I had been really hurt by people I considered family, and I walked away from the only form of community I had. And I’m not gonna lie…my heart still aches from the tears and trials of that month.
BUT. God has brought me back to this place, recently. He has spoken a word to me that I cannot ignore. Everything is different and yet He is still at the center. He is just as present as before, if not even more so. He has plans far greater than I or anyone can see in this lifetime. He is doing a NEW THING. I had been using my hurts as an excuse to stay away. I thought I was protecting myself – and for a while I was. But that protection eventually turned into me withholding blessings from God. Withholding love from my life.
Is God bringing you back somewhere you never thought you would be? Could He be doing a new thing in your life, maybe one in an area that you didn’t think could have any more perspectives? My prayer tonight is that you would open your heart and your mind to what God is trying to show you in this season, no matter how much it may hurt at first. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to be angry. Emotions are GOOD. Feel all of the feels. But never give up hope.
Nothing in my life is how I imagined it. Not a single thing. But I believe with 100% of me, that God is using every tiny bit of it for His glory. And I don’t want to miss a single thing.
All of my love,
-E
**Isaiah 43:19 — “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”
Also, side note, I am still fundraising for the Race, if you feel led to help me financially on this journey… click the “DONATE” button at the top of the page. Every penny helps so so much, and I am so thankful for it all.
