“Society teaches us that having feelings and crying is bad and wrong. Well, that’s baloney, because grief isn’t wrong. There is such a thing as good grief. Just ask Charlie Brown.”
-Michael Scott, “The Office”
One of the biggest lessons I learned at training camp was giving myself permission to grieve things even if they may seem silly or small. Taking time to write about what has been lost and allowing the Lord to speak to me in those precious, tender moments of pain has opened up a part of my heart that seemed so distant before. I have grieved a LOT of things since I discovered how healing it is and I have continued to open my heart to the bittersweet twinge of grief as it comes.
I experienced a wave of it tonight as I was reflecting on the events of the day. I spent the day working on the farm doing necessary things from barn cleaning, fence clearing, fire ant assassinating (HOORAY!), tree trimming, arena maintenance and finished it all up with schooling Fiora on the longe and Gusto over fences (both pictured grazing happily in their paddock). Mom and I took a brief ride through the pasture just beating the thunder clouds back to the barn. It was a perfectly sweet day. 
A day of productivity and fun working alongside one of my dearest friends, Nikki, who will be living in my little house while I am gone on the Race. I am rejoicing at the peace that comes from being legitimately tired after a long day of work but I am sad because I am going to miss days like this one so very much in the past year. So I am giving myself room to grieve this day. I am going to be sad to see the clock slip past midnight to reveal the loss of my perfect Saturday but that sadness soon turns to praise as I thank God for the sweetness of the day past and lay at His feet any anxiety that I want to carry into the day ahead. Grief allows me to move on and shed the layers of the past that need to be out of the way so I can embrace what is to come.
A day of productivity and fun working alongside one of my dearest friends, Nikki, who will be living in my little house while I am gone on the Race. I am rejoicing at the peace that comes from being legitimately tired after a long day of work but I am sad because I am going to miss days like this one so very much in the past year. So I am giving myself room to grieve this day. I am going to be sad to see the clock slip past midnight to reveal the loss of my perfect Saturday but that sadness soon turns to praise as I thank God for the sweetness of the day past and lay at His feet any anxiety that I want to carry into the day ahead. Grief allows me to move on and shed the layers of the past that need to be out of the way so I can embrace what is to come. (I hope that ya’ll can fully appreciate the fact that I worked an “Office” quote into my blog).
