Since Tuesday our whole squad has been together for debrief which is a time when we get to rest a little, relax a little, minister to one another and chew on some teaching brought to us by our coaches. Debrief as the logistical coordinator can be a little stressful and require a lot of juggling and sometimes it can be hard to pay attention to multiple things at once but I am reminded over and over again that God’s hand is in everything, even the details. 
This month we are debriefing in a beautiful little city in Romania called Brasov. The city is quaint, cozy and the epitome of Europe for me with outdoor restaurants, cobblestone streets, abundant and accessible historical sights and intriguing people. The city also happens to feature a BRASOV sign up on a mountain above the city…like HOLLYWOOD!
Dennis, my logistics partner-in-crime and I arrived in Brasov over a week ago to prepare for the rest of the squad to arrive four days later. We found affordable lodging. We managed to find a resaurant to feed 53 people every night for only about $3 per person and then bought some bread and meat, tomatoes and cucumbers to feed everyone lunch for around $0.33 per person per day. Breakfast is included with lodging. Hallelujah. God’s hand of provision is clear. Then a slight hiccup. Where can we all gather together and meet to have worship and teaching? We elicit the help of the woman who works at the hostel where we are staying. She gladly offers her services and says she’ll make some phone calls. Even on Monday, the day before the squad arrives the only place we have to meet is the terrace at the hostel which will fit us outside conspicuously over the street and without any privacy or extra room. It looks like a gamble. Then a breakthrough! The restaurant owner where we are going to eat dinner has agreed to allow us to stay until they close at 10pm and agrees to let us worship with singing and a guitar and says the noise is not a problem. Dennis and I are relieved and thank God for his provision. We see that He has come through for us again.
Then Wednesday night arrives- our first night together as a squad for worship during debrief and I make the announcement that we will be staying at the restaurant and ask some people to coordinate shifting the tables and chairs around. I overhear a few comments that were probably meant just as honest feedback about the space not really being the best. Did you consider the acustics? And how will we all see each other? I agreed with them and just said it was the best we had available but in my heart I began to question God’s provision. All of a sudden what God had provided wasn’t enough because someone questioned it. As we began to worship I was overwhelmed with the concept that I had not done enough and what we had was not enough.
Why would you set me up for this, God? Why didn’t you come through for us?
I sat in my pitty party of judgement and condemnation for a moment then let out a sigh and agreed to open my ears to hear what God had to say. “What I provide is always enough for you,” I heard him say calmly and confidently. He didn’t seem to be the slightest bit offended that I was accusing him of not coming through, he was just waiting for me to be ready to repent again and come back to the sweetness and confidence of his presence. As I began to return to him I heard, “I move where I choose to move. No space however ideal you deem it to be the factor that ushers in my presence. I am after your heart. Don’t look at what you lack. Open your eyes and see what you have.”
So I did. I opened my eyes and looked around me and saw my brothers and sisters sold out in worship to their king. I didn’t see the cramped, hot basement of an autoserve restaurant. I saw the Kingdom.
God comes through. He always does. I need to align my vision with that truth and live from it rather than letting every little opinion or opposition sway me.
Your Kingdom come, Lord. Your will be done.
