Last week, my team and I ventured into nearby Heredia for a fun off day as a team. However, before leaving, we had spent time praying as a team that if God had someone for us to talk to or love on, He would make that person stand out to us.
After eating lunch, we stood outside the restaurant trying to figure out where we should go next. Jordie spoke up saying she felt like God was leading us to a nearby park, so off we went! We had no idea what we would do when we got there but we figured we would at least take this first step. We finally got to the park and spent a few minutes walking and praying. Worship. We felt prompted to worship. We all hesitated… should we just start singing? But we didn’t know any songs in Spanish! People would think we were crazy. They wouldn’t be able to understand anything we were singing. Worship. The prompting came again and we took the jump and went for it. Softly at first, we started to sing whatever worship song came to mind. People passed by and stared. Some smiled, some barely paused. A workman fixing a power box next to us stopped to watch our little concert with a confused look. This went on for 15-20 minutes and I was starting to feel frustrated. Was I missing something? Was there someone I should be talking to? Maybe we needed to move more towards the center or be louder. “What do I need to do God?” I questioned. “Be still.” A quiet voice prompted, “Be still”. So, against my personal desires, I stayed glued to the bench, still singing, waiting. Several of my teammates got up to talk to a homeless man washing flower pots in a nearby fountain. Victoria and I stayed put on the bench.
Not more than 2 minutes after our teammates had left, a man approached us and without us ever asking, he started to tell us that he was sad. His wife had left him for another man, he was alone and his kids were grown and out of the house. He was lonely and hurting. For the next 30 minutes we talked with Edwin. Our Spanish was just as good as his English and we had a great game of guess the word and charades going on. We prayed over Edwin, heard his story, encouraged him and loved him as much as we could. He shared how he wanted to go to a Christian church! We leapt at the chance and invited him to the church that our ministry runs. He was so excited! Over and over we repeated the location, day and time of the service and over and over he repeated the directions back and assured us he would be there. We prayed again and went our separate ways, full of anticipation for Sunday!
Fast forward to Sunday morning… Jordan, Victoria and I hiked up to the bus stop at 10 am, ready to welcome Edwin to our Costa Rican family at ZOE. As we waited for the bus, Victoria said what we had all been thinking, there was a huge chance that he wouldn’t come. We started to pray for Edwin as we stood at the bus stop. We prayed that he would come but also that if he didn’t, God’s will would be done and that Edwin would feel love and compassion wherever he was at. Still, deep down, we hoped he would come. The 10:20 bus pulled up. We waited, hoping, praying. He didn’t get off. He hadn’t come.
The feeling of, “you should have done more”, started to set in for me. Maybe he hadn’t understood our directions or maybe we could have done more during the time we did have with him. Halfway through worship at church, God stopped me. Here I was again putting the focus on me and what I thought needed to happen.
I don’t know what He’s doing in Edwin. I don’t know what kind of an impact our 30 minute talk had with him. God does. This month, I’ve struggled with not seeing fruit. Our students still struggle with English despite our best efforts. When we leave, they will still be in need of teachers. In my eyes, we haven’t done anything lasting this month. Even as I type this blog, God is speaking different. “You did exactly what I sent you to do! Look at this month with Kingdom eyes”. Our prayers were heard, our worship brought glory to the Father, just our being in this place brought the light of Christ! We loved the people he placed in our path. We saw, we hugged, we laughed, prayed, worshipped, taught, pursued, and took risks. It’s not anything I did or didn’t do. It isn’t about me or my team at all! When I look at Edwin and this entire month with Kingdom eyes, I can’t help but smile. God did what He set out to do! We were there, we were open, and that is more than enough!
