I was not prepared.
Preparation during the weeks leading up to launch was completely overwhelming. A million thoughts were going through my mind. It’s almost like I was starting a new “to-do-list” in my head every five minutes, and my phone had acquired at least 50 new notes in a two week time frame. And of course I’m the world’s worst when it comes to procrastinating.
Getting my gear together – my pack, tent, sleeping pad, sleeping bag, clothes, medicines, toiletries – all of this wasn’t the problem. But fitting it all in my 70L pack, the night before leaving, THAT was my problem.
Physically preparing for the Camino? Lol. Of course I had been telling myself, “Tomorrow I will start training with my pack”. And of course tomorrow kept getting put off and before you know it, it was launch day. So, nope, I never trained like I wanted to. How was I going to leave for a week long hiking trip on the Camino de Santiago without any pack training?
Now it’s the week before leaving and I’m having to cram what felt like a million goodbyes into each day. A family going away party, all of my girls coming into town for dinner, lunch dates with friends, and goodbye tears from coworkers; it all started to hit me. HOLY COW. If it’s hard to say goodbye to these people, how am I going to leave the two most important people in my life, tear-filled & terrified, at the airport gate in a few days? I AM NOT PREPARED.
Packing, training, goodbyes – these were the things I was focused on the most before leaving. The entire time I neglected preparing my heart for all of the change and all of the growth that I was going to encounter. I should have prepared my heart for running with arms open to meet the teammate I had Facetimed for the last two months, or the hugs from complete strangers that lasted longer than usual, or the 8+ hours in the NYC airport where the time would pass so quickly as we listened to stories, shared laughs, and welcomed each person that finally arrived. These 20 people would soon become some of the strongest, most inspiring, hilarious, God-filled people I have EVER met. We each bring something so special and so different to the team, and I WAS NOT PREPARED to fall so in love with each person.
Of course, living with 20 other people gives you a completely new outlook/perspective for the word “community”, and it has been a constant challenge to adapt to different personalities, habits, and mannerisms – but I wouldn’t have it any other way. We trained in Barcelona, Spain for five days – and this was what I considered our “honeymoon phase” of community living, which would soon come to an end. The Camino is when we were really put to the test as a team. The Camino de Santiago runs across 800 kilometers of Spain and marks the paths of sacred journeys completed by pilgrims throughout the past five centuries. The path ultimately ending in Santiago, Spain, which is the burial place of St. James. My team and I hiked almost 100 miles over a course of five days. It was the most challenging, most humbling, most beautiful spiritual journey I have ever been on. Allowing silence through the beautiful hills of Spain, to just listen to God and take in each word through the knotted shoulders and achy knees – I can’t even describe how rewarding it was to clear my mind and finally open up my ears to actually listen to God.
However, hiking 20+ miles a day, hostel hopping each night, and living out of one backpack really started to take a toll on us. None of us were prepared. Not prepared for sharing one bathroom with 10+ people, community showers, the snores of strangers keeping us up, weird meals, early mornings, LOUD mornings, never being alone (even on the toilet). Being uncomfortable may be hard to grasp at times but I consider all of these things to be opportunities to press in harder and grow more. The Camino and all of it’s memories are something I will always hold near and dear to my heart. Thank you God for an opportunity to thrive in patience, perseverance, control, and reliance. Thank you God for teaching me to press in through the pain, sore feet, and the times when I just wanted to lay down on this trail (this actually happened lol). The Camino was the spiritual experience of a lifetime and I will definitely be going back.
After the Camino, we continued training in the beautiful little village of Mijas, Spain. We had the honor of listening to four of the original founders of the World Race; Gary Black, Andrew Shearman, Tom Davis, and Seth Barnes. These speakers challenged us to become bold disciples rather than comfortable Christians. They challenged us to approach our faith with urgency and confidence and to always have a YES in our hearts and the SHOUT of a King.
Towards the end of our time in Mijas they split us into three small teams – my team name is “The Fellowship”. Our ministry team will be serving in a orphanage and leading worship in Northern Africa for the next three weeks. I absolutely can not wait to step out of my comfort zone and be the hands and feet of Jesus in this broken village. Praying that I can pour out God’s love and give hope to these sweet people and children.
Over the last three weeks, our days have been filled with cram-packed training sessions, long plane, train, and bus rides, amazing worship nights, cooking community dinners together, exploring the quaint villages of Spain, consuming a million carbs, learning to become comfortable with being uncomfortable, and really getting to know each other’s testimonies and life stories. Continually pray for my spirit and for my team. As training camp comes to an end, my team is all in, 110%, and we are so hungry to share the word of God and to see him preform miracles in the lost nations, but we need your prayers!
As we board this ferry to Northern Africa, I’m reflecting on so much. I’m thankful for these past three weeks. Thank you God for our leaders, our training, our journey across the Camino, the challenge of community living, the opportunities for growth, and the promises of your Word. Thank you for showing me love, strength, and inspiration through each new brother and sister in this new family of mine. Thank you Lord for challenging us and pushing us so that we will open our hearts fully and grow more dependent on you. But most of all, thank you Lord for NOT preparing my heart for this race, because it’s been the best surprise yet.
