First, I'd like to make a confession: I have been incredibly selfish. The past couple months have been really difficult on me with the extreme weather, feeling completely spent, and thoughts of being home so soon, so much that I had almost given up on blogging altogether because I didn't want to put the time and energy into it. So, I deeply apologize for my untimely posting. I've been feeling very convicted lately about my lack of communication with my supporters through my blogs with the knowledge of how much power my words can actually have. I've met many people with many stories, and those stories deserve to be told. We'll start with Marcos.
What do you do when you know that doing the right thing in a situation will be one of the hardest actions you may ever have to take? You can pray and pray and hope for a certain outcome, but can you really be sure that your good intentions will not return void? For instance: how do you tell a rebellious 14-year-old boy from the streets that he can no longer live in the safe, comfortable place he now calls home, purely in faith that being back on the streets will allow him to see the error of his ways and how blessed he is with the opportunity to get away from his old life?
Marcos is one of my favorite kids from Zion's Gate (I know missionaries probably aren't really supposed to play favorites, but whatever). Ever since we went with all the kids and staff to the water park early in the month and Marcos slept on my shoulder on the way back to the property, we were super tight. He speaks almost no English and my Spanish is very spotty, but even though communication was hard we made it work.
What I didn't know until our last week or so in Honduras was that Marcos was still causing immense trouble on and off the property. Tony has a very strict no drug policy and also has a curfew in place, both of which it turns out that Marcos was breaking regularly. Not only was it affecting him, but it was adding immense stress to Tony and causing the other kids on the property to stumble as well.
For weeks Tony struggled with what to do. What was best for Marcos? What was best for the rest of the family? Why was Marcos still acting this way? If Tony sent him back to Los Pinos, did that mean he wasn't showing Marcos grace? Would Marcos be like the prodigal son and see the errors of his ways and have a new appreciation for his life at Zion's Gate, or would he completely fall back into his life before meeting Tony and destroy himself? What would Jesus have done? WHAT was the answer?
One of the reasons I really enjoyed Tony as a contact was because of how bold, blunt, and honest he was with us. He's definitely not a sugar-coater. So a couple days before we left Honduras, Tony presented Marcos' situation to us as a squad and asked if we had any input. My teammate, Ryan Graydon, brought up 1 Corinthians 5 where Paul is addressing the church in Corinth about brothers among them who are sexually immoral, which I'm not sure was one of the problems or not but, as we all know, sin is sin so it still applies. Starting in verse four, Paul writes,
4When you are assembled in the name of our Lord Jesus and I am with you in spirit, and the power of our Lord Jesus is present, 5hand this man over to Satan, so that the sinful nature may be destroyed and his spirit saved on the day of the Lord.
As paradoxical as it may sound, sometimes (what looks like) God ending His extension of grace, or (what looks like) man ending his extension of grace, IS the grace in itself. What good does it do to let someone continue to sin and walk all over the obvious grace with no care or remorse? They'll never understand grace or feel like they need it unless it appears to be taken away. And since understanding grace in itself IS a grace, isn't "taking it away" so that the brother may grasp it STILL giving them grace? Sometimes the only way is, as Paul states it, for a brother to be handed over to Satan. This isn't so that they are doomed and condemned to hell, but so that in the darkness they may see the light of God's glorious grace, and that ultimately they be saved.
A couple days later, Tony stepped out in faith and told Marcos that he could no longer live at Zion's Gate until he was willing to follow the rules that Tony had lovingly set in place for the family, praying and trusting that in the darkness of Los Pinos, Marcos would see the light of Zion's Gate. He had to "take away" the grace, hand Marcos over to Satan, believing and hoping that he would finally understand and would return wanting to destroy his sinful nature. I imagine it was one of the hardest things he's ever had to do.
Since then, Marcos and Tony have had lunch together, but as far as I know, Marcos is still currently living in the colony. I have not stopped praying for my dear, sweet friend, Marcos, and ask that you will pray for him, too. Hopefully he's a prodigal son in the making.
