I've had some very trying times in my life, met some very difficult people, just been through some generally tough stuff, but working at FBCCS may have been the most challenging thing I've ever done. As I said in a previous blog, we were warned that because of their Fetal Alcohol Syndrome that the children at the school liked to misbehave, particularly the younger ones. I seriously under-heeded this warning and expected teaching a music class to be a breeze. After the first class of grade R students, Sarah and I literally didn't know how we were going to survive the next 3 weeks with our sanity in tact. Frustration and annoyance stood in the way of any possibilities of loving the children well and we knew that that was not fulfilling our purpose at the school. So, we prayed (to find out more about our month as prayer warriors, check out my last blog). One of the things we asked most for was that God would enable us to see these children through the eyes of Jesus by the power of the Holy Spirit, loving them well with joy in our hearts.
We are incapable of loving on our own. In 1 John 4:7-8, he says, "Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love." He goes on to say in verse 16, "God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him." GOD IS LOVE. Without knowing God, we cannot know love. Also, In Paul's letter to the Galatians, he writes to them, "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control…since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit" (5:22-23, 25).
Loving is not easy. Seeing others through the eyes of Jesus, especially when they're doing things that provoke sinful natures (Gal. 5:19-21) is not easy. We must constantly make the choice to die to ourselves and to keep in step with the Spirit so that the fruit is produced in our lives.
Somewhere along the way, maybe without me even noticing, the Lord completely changed my view of the children. No matter how rambunctious and disobedient they were, I felt compassion instead of annoyance. I showed them kindness and self-control instead of anger. Instead of holding grudges, I patiently and faithfully extended grace at every transgression. Instead of feeling frustration, I felt pure love. Instead of seeing them through my own eyes, I saw each and every one of them through the eyes of Jesus.
Through the power of the Holy Spirit, God brought me from day 1: not knowing how I was going to make it through 3 weeks of teaching to 3 weeks later: not knowing how I was going to leave the kids I had come to love so much. I miss them still, but I pray continually for their salvations so that by the grace of our good and faithful God we will meet again one day among the angels.
