Joy Amidst a Broken Heart. Part 2

If you’re just tuning in, this is part two of a blog pair that I’ve entitled “Joy Amidst a Broken Heart”, in which I first gave a short version of my personal testimony (part one) and now I’ll be sharing with all of you my purpose in choosing the World Race. Just so you know, beyond the basic reasons I’m not even sure what words I can use to express my deep, overwhelming passion for this mission, since I’ve stated many times I’m not so great at expressing emotion. So we’ll start a little lighter then take it from there.
 
1. First of all, Jesus says “Go”:

 
It’s as simple as that. Of course, not everyone is necessarily supposed to “Go” overseas, or even out of their own home state, but as Christians, we ARE called to “Go” and spread the Good News of Christ, whether it’s to our next door neighbors or half way around the world. We have not been granted this gift by our Father to hoard it and keep it to ourselves but to proclaim what we know to be true so that others may know the width and the length and the height and the depth of the love of Christ (Ephesians 3:18)!
 
2. It’s outside my comfort zone. It’s not easy. It’s radical.
 

 
In his book, Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God, Francis Chan says, “Something is wrong when our lives make sense to unbelievers.” This can be applied to an array of situations, but I’m using it here in relation to missions. To a lot of people, this mission seems CRAZY: “You’re going to live out of a backpack?” “You’re going to be gone for 11 months?” “You’re going to (insert country)? Isn’t it dangerous for Christians there?!” “How are you going to live without (unnecessary luxury)?” “You have to raise over $15,000?” The questions and doubt go on and on. To tell the truth, I don’t have all the answers. I have no idea how I’m going to survive off only what I can carry on my back for 11 months or how I’m gonna be away from my family and friends for that long. I don’t know what it’s going to be like in countries where Christians can and do face persecution. I don’t know if I or anyone else on my squad will face persecution. I haven’t got the first idea how the Lord is going to provide over $15,000 to make this mission possible. But Jesus doesn’t give these men, or us, all the answers or tell them to finish (insert unfinished task), then follow. He says to lay down everything and follow Him immediately. If He gives us all the answers and instructions there’s no room or reason for us to trust Him with total abandon! The Lord has graciously instilled in me a willingness to put down anything and everything I have going on here at home to follow Him to the ends of the Earth. There are so many questions unanswered, but He has calmed my heart and empowered me to fully trust in His plan. At least I get the chance to say “good-bye” unlike this guy (:
 
3. It makes sense.
 
As many things there are about this mission that seem absolutely off-the-wall, there are a few, perhaps selfish, reasons why going makes perfect sense at this point in my life.
 
I make jokes about being old all the time, but realistically 23 is pretty young in the grand scheme of things. No health problems, just rickety knees and ankles from 13 years of soccer, so I’d say I’m young and able-bodied.
I don’t have a career that I either have to leave or put on hold. It’s not that I wouldn’t do that if the Lord called me to do it—and mad props to anyone who has had to do that—but it just so happens that since I graduated from WVU last spring, spent the summer in San Diego, and the school year in Morgantown, that I haven’t had the chance to start a career yet and therefore, have no career to put in jeopardy.
I’m single. Again, not that I wouldn’t go if I did have a boyfriend, but conveniently enough, I don’t, so there isn’t that added stress of a long-distance relationship. Also again, kudos to all of you who are going to carry or who have carried relationships through the Race. I’m sure it’s a true test.
There’s no reason not to go. I have a wonderful life in West Virginia; my family and my friends are incredible and they mean the world to me. But, God willing, they’ll be here when I get back and I don’t have any true, solid, inescapable obligations keeping me here.
 
Are you starting to understand a little better? If not, hopefully this last part will help you.
 
My life has been filled with so much joy by the Lord, and for that my gratitude is inexpressible. See, joy and happiness are two completely different things. Happiness is a feeling, which means it is fleeting. It’s not permanent and is easily manipulated. New shoes make me happy. A good song on the radio makes me happy. Joy is a lifestyle; it’s the choice to look past your circumstance, to always focus on what you do have instead of what you don’t have and the good instead of the bad (Philippians 4:8), and to find solace that regardless of anything that happens in this world that God is always still the same, loving God and our treasures are still in Heaven.
 
However, despite the infinite joy my Father has placed in me, I still suffer every day of a broken heart for His children, whom He loves so dearly, that must endure hunger, poverty, abandonment, homelessness, disease, oppression, abuse, and so many other things that plague this dark, perverse world. My heart shatters for the children of the King who know only darkness, who don’t think any good and loving God could want to know them or just have never heard they have a Heavenly Father who desires so deeply for them to know Him that He sent His only Son as atonement for our shortcomings knowing we may never love Him back. I long with every fiber of my being to dispel these lies, to sever the chains that bind them so tightly, as they once bound me, and to spread the Good News that no matter what happens in this life—past, present, or future—God has promised us eternal life through Jesus Christ and a life of hardship will be worth an eternity of rejoicing.
 

 
Please don’t think that I believe everything in our country is perfect and that is why I’m ready to pack my bags and leave. I don’t deny the needs of our home at all; I know many of the same problems which afflict any of the countries where we are going also occur right under our noses here. The simplest answer I can give you is that some people are called to change the world starting in their own backyard, and some are called to change the world starting in someone else’s backyard, wherever that may be. It just so happens that the Lord has called me to a number of backyards in a variety of places. (:
 
Okay, so I’m hoping that now you may have a clearer picture of how I got to this place and involved with this crazy thing called the World Race. To end this, I’m going to tell you why I so desperately want to launch in September rather than at a later date (besides the fact that I’m somewhat attached to the insane awesomeness of the yellow I squad).
 
In January of this year, I went to a conference called Passion (STRIPED GREEN community group for any of you Passion 2012 attendees). At this time, I was back at a point where I was going to choose my own fear over the Lord’s calling for me, but I also still couldn’t stop thinking about the Race. This was the first time I ever heard Christine Caine, founder of the A21 Campaign, a non-profit that fights human trafficking, speak and I was absolutely blown away. Her entire message was incredible, but there was one story that still haunts me to this day. She was at one of the restoration centers sponsored by the A21 Campaign, sharing the Gospel with a woman who had been a trafficking victim, telling her how much God loves her and could bring healing into her life if she would allow Him. This woman looked at Ms. Caine and asked, “If what you say about your God is true, then why didn’t you come sooner?” Talk about conviction. Words have never stuck with me like that in my entire life. After arriving back in Morgantown, I began my application again and had it finished within a week. Honestly, at that point I was ready to apply for a July route and REALLY leave as soon as possible, but all the July routes were full. So, September it would be!
 
Leaving in January is much more sensible. It’s four more months to raise support, to work and fund my personal account, to be with the ones I love, to shine light into lives in my home state, and hey, if I leave in January I won’t have to miss any Christmases which I’m sure would thrill my mom. I know without a doubt that any squad I am a part of will be full of amazing people who will become some of my closest friends and each one of them will be a huge blessing. I know that on any route I will experience God in ways I didn’t know possible and that my Father is going to work in His always miraculous ways.  But for some we may meet along the Race, four months may be too late. The Lord’s children need His Gospel now. The thought of being asked the same question as Ms. Caine sends chills through my bones.
 
There you have it. I did my best to try and depict to you, readers, how all of this came to be. I don’t know if my Father will provide the $1,033 I need two days from now to continue on this journey towards launch in September or if He has other plans and has work to finish through me here in the lovely state of West Virginia before allowing me to bid adieu to the U.S. in January. But I do know that He is never surprised by any circumstance, nor incapable of completing His plan for my life. For that, I am thankful and I will find peace in the fact that His will shall be done, whatever that may be. I yearn inexplicably to leave in September, but more than that I merely want to do what is pleasing to my good and faithful God.
 
This mission can only be made possible by a generous team of donors and I would love it if you would choose to support what the Lord will be doing on this Race by partnering with me. In order to help me meet this deadline, you can click the “Join My Team!” tab to the left and follow the instructions. Upon completing your contribution, please e-mail me at [email protected] because payments may or may not process by Thursday and my mobilizer will need a final count. If you’d like to send a check by mail, please make it out to Adventures in Missions with Erin Shepherd-World Race in the memo line and send it to my home at 4941 Lower Falls Road St. Albans, WV 25177. If it’s sent out after Tuesday, you may want to let me know as well to make sure it is accounted for when calculating my total and eligibility for training camp.
 
If you aren’t able to join financially, please consider speaking with someone else you may know who supports missions and may be interested in this cause. Finally, please PRAY! Our team needs prayers not only for financial provision, but for spiritual, emotional, and physical endurance, safe travels, empowerment from the Holy Spirit, and for the ability to make eternal impacts in lives along the way. If you’d like a full prayer request list, e-mail me and I’ll be happy to give you one!
 
Last, but certainly NOT least, thank you so much to all of you who have already joined me in this mission, in prayer and in giving! You have all helped me through this immensely and I’m so thankful for each and every one of you (:
 

 
4 days until training camp and 52 days until launch!!