Ahhh FEMinistry, also known as MANistry depending on whose perspective you are hearing-one month during the Race when the men and women are completely separate and we have the freedom to do the things we can't do in front of the opposite sex. For us, it's more than a month of being able to walk from the bathroom to our bedrooms in just a towel without worrying who might see (which is pretty nice, I have to admit); we spend the month diving into topics together that may not be appropriate in mixed company or topics that the other gender just plain might not want to hear about. This is a time of no holds barred, real and raw, out in the open, full-on, head-on community with our sisters in Christ.
Personally, I was nervous.
I'm not really a "girly girl". I don't like to talk about emotions or marriage and babies. Chick flicks are okay, but I'd rather watch stuff blow up or a story of an underdog beating the odds. The Super Bowl is in my list of Top 5 favorite holidays (Opening Day might be in the Top 10). My fingernails are never polished. And generally, I tend to get along better and relate to men more so than women. Maybe it's because my daddy has been a football coach my whole life and I practically grew up on the 50-yard line, who knows. But girl time is just not really my thing. So, as much as I truly love my sisters and wanted to spend time just us, I was expecting to be done with the estrogen overload after about a week.
But it's our third week and I'm still alive!
In fact, not only have I survived but this month has been such a huge blessing and I'm not ready for it to be over in 7 days. Yes, there were definitely times when my patience felt like it was running out–I mean that's a given with nine girls living in a two bedroom apartment–but there is nothing more encouraging than walking through issues and struggles knowing that there are eight people in your living space who are either walking through the same thing, have before, and/or are willing to go beside you through it, absolutely regardless of what it is. There are just certain things you can't or don't want to talk about with your brothers, like beauty, abuse, and lust.
PLUS, I live with so many girls that I've barely had to wear my own clothes this month, which is phenomenal since I've been wearing the same 10 shirts since September!
Without my brothers around to seek for advice or with questions, which is usually what I'm more comfortable with, I had to go to my sisters. I've been burned a lot by girls in the past, which likely contributes to my apprehension as well, but this month I was able to take steps towards opening myself up and trusting that these women, my sisters in Christ, wouldn't do the same thing. Even if only in baby steps, I'm learning that I can't go into relationships with women, or men for that matter, expecting to get hurt, expecting to be betrayed, or expecting to receive the short end of the stick and holding people at an arm's length away; that will build a barrier in the way of a friendship faster than I can say "No really, I'm fine".
I'm slowly finding out and allowing it to be known in my heart that my sisters in Christ here really do care. They want to get to know me and me to know them. They want to pour into me and me into them. They love me with the love of Jesus, not with the artificial "love" that comes from the world and has burned me so many times before.
And ya know what? I love them too 🙂
Ladies, especially those of you who have considered yourself "one of the guys" for the last 20 years, listen up. Having close brothers is a wonderful blessing, but so is having the bonds of sisterhood. There are things wherein having a male's perspective is very helpful-like Biblical leadership or gender roles, but there are also many things wherein a male's perspective is inappropriate or unnecessary-like the Lord as our husband or struggling with body image. And sometimes, they just will not be able to understand and only your sisters will, like when you buy pretzels, gummy bears, M&Ms, and a giant chocolate bar all to stock up for Aunt Flow.
We are women and we NEED each other.
We need to giggle. We need to express ourselves freely, in whatever form that comes. We need to talk about what we think when we look in a mirror. We need to discuss the Proverbs 31 woman and what our roles in the Kingdom are. We need to fight for each other. We need to learn from each other and grow with each other. We need to pray for each other. We need to encourage each other. We need to come alongside each other and relate to each other in the ways that men just can't.
So, if you're like me and have used every excuse in the book to avoid the all-women activities, I urge you to reconsider. Step out in faith and go to that women's Bible study or small group. Think and pray about attending your church's women's retreat. Maybe even look into volunteering at women's shelters or clinics. The Lord may have some of the most influential female friendships of your life waiting there for you, and they ARE important.
Ultimately, we are the body of Christ-that includes our brothers AND our sisters. Neither are expendable and both are irreplaceable.
