So, this is extremely weird to type, but I've almost completed living in Africa for three months. Before leaving on this great adventure, World Race told us to leave all of our expectations behind, to let them go, in order to be totally open to what God has for us. To be honest, I was pretty positive I had all that covered. Way to go, Me! Getting on that plane all open and ready for God's business, totally expectationless. And then I got off the plane, and realized that I should have done a little more research about Kenya, because it didn't really look anything like The Lion King, which is what I had…expected. Oops. Well, that must be the only expectation I let slip in, and I mean that's not a big one. It's just about scenery.
Then we went to our first contacts house and began doing ministry, but really a lot of the time the real ministry ended up being for us, instead of us for them. It ended up being a mutual sharing of love and encouragment, instead of just us doing things for the people we met. I had expected to be the one giving and sharing and loving the world like crazy and God took my expectation and completely blew it out of the water with the incredible generosity of the people whose houses we visited. The men and women who wouldn't let you leave their house without a cup of chai and a belly full of chapatti at the very least. People who received us with open arms and gave us everything they could possibly afford. To honor us. To give us preference. To encourage us in the Lord and pray blessings over us for coming so far just to see them. Kenya woke me up and wrecked my heart. Kenya showed me that Africa is alive and full of the Spirit. Kenya proved that we really are all brothers and sisters through Christ. Kenya told me that my life will never be the same. That my generosity should know no bounds and be without excuse. And by Kenya, I mean God.
Enter Uganda. Uganda, where our pastor stated at the beginning of the month that we were going to build relationships with people at the schools, prisons, and hospitals before we prayed for them. My expectation of what "building a relationship" meant was that we got to see the same people more than once, that we got to know each others' likes and dislikes, that we got to be friends. But what pastor meant was swapping names with each other, going into the activity, and leaving, most often never to see the people again. Somehow my expectation had become that God needed us to build these deep relationships in order to share Him and to bring healing. Yet again, God changed my perspective and changed the way He wanted us to share love with His children that month. Uganda proved that God works through smiles. Uganda was about loving orphans & neighborhood kids and trusting that God plants seeds with hugs and poorly sung songs and playing soccer with a ball made out of plastic bags. At the hospital, God showed us that the power of prayer still works even when you aren't sure exactly what to pray for because things get lost in translation. That the swapping of a name is more than God needs to work in us and through us. God can build a spiritual relationship through something as simple as a single touch. The hospital in Uganda showed me a baby being healed right before my eyes and a men's ward that was overflowing the first weekend we prayed and nearly empty in a week when we came back. Uganda made me realize that every moment can count. Uganda showed me that all He needs is a willing spirit. And by Uganda, I mean God.
Rwanda was a totally new Africa to me. The country as a whole surpassed any and all of the small expectations I had coming into it. I honestly had no idea what to expect in Rwanda. It was just a small little country that something terrible had happened in. Before the bus ride, I didn't even know what the terrible something had been and when I found out, Rwanda suddenly became a country that had been filled with death. But that thought was banished by the first night. God has made it incredibly evident that Rwanda is full of life and full of love. I have never met a group of pastors more loving and selfless, who truly want to bring hope to everyone they encounter. Who refuse to be held back by the past, but instead move forward in Christ with willing and grateful hearts.
Our pastor took us to the genocide memorial last week and it wrecked me. All of me. To read how Satan had twisted minds to hate with such a vengence. To see the videos of beatings. To look at pictures families have given in rememberance. To hear the testimonies on video and from our literal neighbors which are heavy with sadness, but laced with an amazing forgiveness in their hearts. In the movie Hotel Rwanda, the news videographer who films the torture going on in the streets says to the hotel manager, "I think Americans will see this and then go on eating their dinner." Rwanda showed me that my heart will never let me go on eating my dinner. That God has given me life and I should refuse to hoard that to myself. Instead, I need to share it with others. Rwanda has proven that even the most horrific tragedies can by used by God. Rwanda has shown me that love conquers death. Rwanda has reminded me that being a Christian doesn't mean being safe. And by Rwanda, I mean God.
Being a "Christian" means going at life with full force love from God, instead of sitting there content with safety. God calls us to love. to Love is wild. to Love comes raw and real and without expectations.
