As I sit on the balcony of the ‘White House’ where we’ve
been living for the past two months, reality sinks in… we’re leaving. In a matter of days, this familiar place will
only be a memory. In spite of everything
the Lord has been showing us about the intensity of the ministry we will be
walking into in Thailand, I still seem to be struggling with the thought of
leaving everything that has been so close to my heart here in Swaziland-
specifically, Donzi.
This morning, I watched my team load into vans and start the
trek back to South Africa,
which will inevitably end our stay in Africa as we board a plane to Thailand in
less than a week. I will meet up with
them tomorrow along with three other race teams. But today I had much more important things to
take care of. Today, I had the heart
breaking task of saying goodbye to my sweet little girl.
In no way, shape, or form was I interested in saying
goodbye. In fact, the thought of leaving
the race and staying in Swaziland
sounded so much more appealing than leaving this precious girl that I have
started calling my own. I squirm in my
pray time over the idea of walking away from a ministry that has, in all
reality, stolen my heart.
I still stand amazed at how perfectly the Lord works His
plan and how carefully He aligns our hearts with His, so that His greater will
can be accomplished. We started our
search for Donzi at the request of my team leader’s, Chris Telfer, friend
Cassie. For the past two months we’ve
spent time ministering to her entire family and tomorrow when I leave, I have
the confidence that the Black family will continue to check in on my little
girl.
This morning Emily and Alexis Black drove out to Donzi’s
home with me to meet Donzi and her family.
As any overprotective mother will do, I spent much of my morning praying
that my baby is protected and taken care of when I can’t be around her. More than anything I wanted Alexis and Emily
to feel what I’ve experienced from the Lord for this little girl and her
family.
It was only a few minutes into our visit when I felt the
peace of God surround me and reassure me that everything is in the Lord’s hands
and He is faithful to protect and guard those things that are most precious to
me and even more so to Him. I glanced
over at Donzi, only to see that she had crawled up into Alexis’s arms and was
letting out some of her sweetest giggles.
My heart rests in the peace that only my Father can
give. I know that He is good, just, and
faithful. And I couldn’t be more
thankful that He has given me the tiniest glimpse of His heart for all of His
sweet little girls. I know that the fruit of this ministry seems small- just one baby girl… but when I look at Christ and how He spent His life for one, I can’t think of a better man to imitate. I still want MORE….I
still want it ALL. It’s only the
beginning.
