I used to hate sharing…yes…even on the race I used to struggle MAJOR with this up until these past few weeks. How things shifted? This image has helped me realize how ugly my heart used to be about not sharing. I do think it’s important to have discernment, boundaries, but in most cases sharing can be a good and necessary thing to do to love people well.
This is what I imagined…
I pretended I was married and that my husband had all these amazing qualities about him…but one thing I really admired was how good he was at sharing. Well he went away for business and little did you know stressed out mom that I imagined I would likely be at times with a bunch of kids that had brought me to the end of my rope after just 30 minutes with their dad gone (I used to fear marriage, and being a bad mom for some reason…my parents rock by the way!) and the doorbell rings and the neighbor asks to use my husband’s tools and I’m in my bathrobe. And I say…let me call/text Him first. I call my husband partly to find out the answer…I want to be “respectful” but also hoping the neighbor will just leave. The neighbor doesn’t leave….of course riiight? My husband says over the phone of course honey its totally ok if they use my tools…but you can tell by the tone of his voice He’s a bit hurt. Because either I didn’t already know Him well enough to know that He’d be ok about this without having to call because he trusts my judgment and gives me grace in good/bad decisions. He can tell what a tough time I’m having at home with the kids without His help and he’s wishing he could be there to support the family, and he feels bad that I had to call and ask to begin with and I just plain didn’t get the tools for the neighbor in the first place. We hang up…I’m feeling not only guilty but the neighbor is still there, I’m still in my bathrobe. I’m just not feeling all fresh and fruity. So we wander to the garage which is impeccable, find the tools, and the neighbor leaves…and even after all that I think to myself…we’ll be lucky if we see THOSE again or in THAT condition. Yeah….that’s basically how UGLY my heart was about sharing in the past.
My husband comes home from His business trip. Hugs the kids and me and says so lovingly….honey I know your exhausted and this was a tough weekend…I don’t want to start a fight but I really need to talk to you about our call the other day. He holds me in his arms…and gently says…when I promised to marry you I promised I’d share everything I had with you. We were joining our two lives…your stuff, my stuff, but essentially our stuff is God’s. So honey within reason…our neighbor can borrow our stuff…the only thing He can’t have/keep is you and our children. We may need to have some chats if our stuff comes back in less than great condition and have grace at times…you know how crazy I am with tools myself…but everything we have is on “loan” from God and we need to treat it that way.
I don’t know about you…but that general concept…as flawed as it was in my description made a whole lot of sense and made me treat my “stuff” a whole lot differently. How bout’ you?
