This 30 something was convinced she’d NEVER climb/hike a mountain. Many years ago I was content to climb a small mountainish hill in Arkansas and Alaska…”for the kiddos (campers)”…both times completely out of breath and thankin’ Jesussss that I arrived back at my destination…and while I was at it said something like, “NEVER to do THAT again”. Not once was scaling a mountain ever on my Bucket List…NEVER ever! So…I knew next to zip about Nepal when signing up for this trip except that Mount Everest was there. It never dawned on me that MINISTRY might look like hiking almost every day…IN THE MOUNTAINS to remote villages…go figure…for several hours….HOURS. A teammate had gotten a vision for me in India and it involved going around the same old mountain and arriving at the same old destination over and over again…imagine that. In the second part of the vision there was another trail more difficult…I’m going to throw in the word treacherous…and when I took that trail I ended up somewhere completely different…the end outcome was looking inside and out waaaay different. My assumption for that vision was that it was purely spiritual…but now I laugh knowing how true to life it would actually be.
Mountain 1 involved some roads, switchbacks, me crying, struggling to breath, almost having a panic attack, and my typical sassiness oozing all over the place. People walked along side me but I felt like junk, that I was holding people back. Half the two teams went up the more difficult trail and a small gang of people ventured on the “easier” trail. The group I was with was crazy encouraging and one of the guys really knew how to push me to keep me going. Sprinkle in some laughter and we finally got to the top. I vaguely remember some cheers and juice box started for me, inhaling some food and water and letting my “jelly legs” catch up with reality. We went up another ridge about 10 minutes and I was like holllllly “mountain” (my new cuss word) did I really just do this? Month 1 I struggled hiking flat roads to get to our ministry contact in Guatemala…hiking a stinkin’ mountain month 9…who is this chick?
The following day after we went to a monastery with woman monks to build relationships with them…in my head I thought a cute little bus was dropping us off there…so I put on my cute hiking sandals and didn’t even bring a water bottle…what a rooky move! We hopped off the bus and followed a road wrapping around the city in search of this place with our guides. It got to one part of the road and from what I saw it looked like we were going to have to walk straight up the huge hill “mini-mountain”. I was still sore from previous day feeling completely unequipped and just wasn’t havin’ it. Some teammates hung back, prayed, and kept walking and singing songs about mountains and stuff…we all had some good laughs. It turned out we took a right and headed up and down some more hills but NOT straight up…boy did I feel like a dork! I was able to buy a bottle of water and life was good again. We wandered around the monastery a bit checking out a new temple with super creepy monster demons and gods all over it…and I was glad to be there inwardly.
Heading to our ministry site in a remote village in Nepal involved a 12+ hour bus ride NOT on a sleeper bus. We arrived at 3 something in the morning and caught another bus for a 2 hour ride. Got to the village and threw our packs on to arrive at the house we’d be staying at. It was freezing but we were all glad to finally have arrived….I think?
Mountain 2 sounded like a short hike to pray and dedicate a new house which ended up more like 6 hours of hiking my guess. Ha! We had dirt road and parts of the trail that went straight up. We met up with the team that was working with us about a 1 hour hike to their village…and then on to the house we were going to. The view was absolutely breathtaking but parts of the trail had sheer drop offs. It was amazing to hear How Great Thou Art in Nepali, to hear scripture, and to pray with these believers. A baby all bundled up was passed around and a young girl with downs loved on several people with us. We were on to the next location to meet a woman, her relatives, and her shop on a mountain…how random to be served Mountain Dew in the middle of nowhere on a MOUNTAIN… some of the first white people to hang out there. The next stop involved seeing the beginnings of Japanese Pear trees or at least pointed in the general direction, and the site of a future soccer field. I giggled imagining soccer balls falling off the sheer cliff…the possible short-lived games, and how much it reminded me of playing Capture the flag off the bluff at Victory Bible Camp in Alaska.
Our “short-cut” no joke was UP…we picked our way up the mountain with some rocks and tree roots used as steps… and other patches were it was just dirt…climbing and climbing. We went as two teams this time and the feel was just different…in a good way. People were awesome with giving me a hand in the steep parts where my chubby legs had to reach a bit more or guess which rocks would work to make a way up. There were some spots I knew previously I had needed help with Mountain 1 that I didn’t need the same amount of help this time with Mountain 2. “Commando” one of the older Nepalese guides a real sweetheart and a funny man helped me for a portion of the hike…along with appropriate breaks and assuming I could look ahead instead of off the sheer mountainside it was manageable.
We still took plenty of breaks but I didn’t feel like we needed to stay there as long as I had needed on our first hike. SOME of the mental battle was easier too…knowing I had done something like this made it more realistic to process that I just needed to put one foot in front of the other…somehow? My legs still screamed and felt like jello…but something about it was almost…addicting too…ssshhhh don’t tell my team leader…he might make me hike some more!
We made it to the village of the other team. We were still about an hour from our village…an hour…Oye! How glorious it was to sit, breathe, and think “Holy Mountain” all over again….we just did that. The hike back was a bit more downhill and I don’t recall needing to break at all for that. Just plodding along and thankful when we got back “home”.
So all this being said…what have I learned? Sometimes God moves mountains…and sometimes YOU’RE the one he wants to move while hoofing it ON a mountain. I know there were some beautiful sites I may have missed out on while putting one foot in front of the other doing my best not to trip and roll down the mountain…and I know there were specific moments where it was like God lifting my chin up…see child…this is for You! Once again I was realizing how many years ago God had crafted these gynormous mountains in Nepal so that his daughter could grow closer to Him so many years later. He knew how I felt about myself, my lack of confidence in Me, and ultimately in God. In my finite mind I keep thinking God could have challenged me by a warm shower or a pizza but God had a spiritual and physical trail / journey He wanted and still wants to take me on. It’s tough…but He is soooo there. The journey may not always be this intense…but it will always be a good one.
I also learned that I’ve set some limitations on myself that need to be knocked down…like assuming I could never ever climb a mountain due to my shape or size. There are body parts I didn’t know could ache…but it feels good to feel alive and know that God’s hand is on this whole crazy process. My hope is that my life after this month and trip will be less about I CAN’Ts and more about WHY NOT’s? When you don’t have internet for over two weeks you have time to think about the Why Not’s a bit more. More on that later I suppose…
And while I’m at it…I think it’s time that I let my “self” off the hook a bit…its exhausting to fight with me…I mean really…who thinks that’s a good idea? I hope this has encouraged some fellow chubbsters. Realistically there ARE some things we can never be…I most likely will never become a unicorn…BUT there ARE a lot of things we can do. So maybe you need to whisper your I Can’t / Why not’s to a friend or say it out loud when you think no one is looking…because most likely YOU CAN. One step becomes many and soon “Holy Mountain” there you are…at the end of yourself and at the beginning of God.
