There are dark areas of my heart that I didn’t realize existed. God knows though…and began to expose one of those areas during training week.
I’ve always been one of those chubby kids throughout my life…and with that comes certain things the world seems to throw at kids who struggle with weight, or sense of value, or belongingness.
It began two of the mornings at training camp when we had to hoof it around camp either with our packs or running. I just couldn’t do it with my ankle and being overweight…and not only that…but satan wanted to remind me of just about any lie under the sun about my worth, sense of belonging, or value. What a jerk!
As one of my Squad Leaders prayed for me, and other Squadmates throughout the week…I began to realize this was a HUGE area that I need to start walking in healing. I would love to share a beautiful way God reminded me that I am CHOOSEN in Christ…and not only LOVED by Christ…but LIKED by Him too.
Buddy Checks…when I was a camper at summer camp we each had to grab a partner for swim time. You would grab hands with this partner and raise your hands to signify that you were THERE…ie hadn’t drowned in the lake. We chose buddies on our Squad quick one day…someone we might not know well yet so that when our Squad had to do a count we could do a quick thumbs up to say if everyone was there.
One of my Squadmates chose me…and I had to share with him how significant and healing this was. For someone who had never been chosen first to join a sports team in gym class, or at a junior high dance, or anywhere else for that matter…walls came crumbling down in a beautiful way. I WAS CHOOSEN by a brother who knows how to worship God with health and athleticism…otherwise known as a “Jock” in some circles. So this was cool in itself…but what happened a day or so later was even more awesome.
We both felt led to pray for each other for different things…and this bro apologized…yes apologized…for guys who had treated me the way they did back in the day. I cried and melted like “butta” and knew God was just beginning to peel back the layers of my soul that had been cowering in the dark for way too long. God desires his daughters to LIVE LIFE and to live it full…and not just that but to share in our chooseness, brokenness, healing with other women. Amen Lord God…thank you for Choosing me….and not just loving me but liking me when I didn't deserve it!
