I haven’t written a blog in awhile. One of any real substance anyway. I been feeling pressure (from myself) to write a blog after I told my team it’s been awhile (quite awhile) and I received gasps of disbelief.
So here I am. Writing a blog.
I could write to you about anything, really. How living in community is really hard but really worth it, how I’m at the end of month 10 and I’m ready to go home and sleep in my own bed or how I’ve been working out almost everyday and it’s actually becoming something I enjoy doing. But I’m not going to do that.
I’m going to write about the desert. Literally and metaphorically.
I live in the desert this month. It’s hot during the day and freezing cold at night. It’s not very pretty, in fact it’s pretty ugly. There’s not a lot to do, at all.
I have rested more this month that the last 5 months combined.
Colombia, Ecuador & Peru were full of adventure. I went paragliding, visited coffee farms, stood on the equator, climbed to the top of a basilica, went sand boarding and hiked Machu Picchu.
But this month I have done a lot of sleeping, caught up on TV Shows, read my bible, drawn and painted, listened to music, cooked some bomb meals and rested – on top of ministry.
I’ve rested in the arms of the Father. I’ve allowed Him to bring me to this literal (and metaphorical) desert. To get away from the temptations of adventure, of distraction and to simply sit and be with Him.
In this time I’ve had, I’ve spent a lot of it in prayer. Specifically praying for my future. See, I had big plans after the race. I was going to go home for the holidays and then head out on a solo adventure to Australia, New Zealand and Indonesia. Adventuring, exploring and “figuring out life.”
After months of convincing myself and other people that this was what I was going to do, the Lord rocked my world when He very specifically told me that this was NOT what I was going to do.
I was mad. I was disappointed. I was embarrassed. But most importantly, I was obedient.
Instead, I asked Him (really for the first time in my life) what HE wanted me to do. If I couldn’t go on a dream adventure, what did HE have for me?
He told me, “I want you to go on vacation with me. I want you to do what you love to do. Sit with me. Watch the sunset. Drink wine. Sleep in. Relax. Listen to music. Just sit and be with me.”
He knows me.
As you could believe, I was not at all disappointed. In fact, I was probably more excited to plan my “#nooniemoon” than my trip to the Southeastern hemisphere.
After a year of traveling and working all over the world, heading back to the USA during the craziest time of year – the Lord wanted to take me back to the desert.
To rest.
The desert of Mexico, that is. Where the beach will be warm, the sunsets will be beautiful and I can sit there (with Him), process this year, drink wine and figure out what He wants this next season of life to look like for us.
Just when I thought I had “the best” plan, the Lord comes along and throws out an “even better” plan. Why do I constantly fight to trust Him and His desire for me to have it all? He wants such a rich life for me of fullness in Him, but I constantly question it. He had to take me to the desert to realize that this is a dangerous trap I let myself fall into and He’s going to take me back to the desert (with a beach) to remind me of why He brought me there.
He is so good. So faithful. And so mine.
