I think the general answer to this is I got called as a result of how God saved me.
When I was 19 I was at such a low point in life that i felt like life was an impossible thing to get through. I did not know if I believed in a God, and if there was one, I knew nothing about Him. One night I prayed that if a God existed He would take over because I did not think I could. Well I could say the rest is history…haha I will tell the rest of the story.
Something happened the next morning, I cannot completely explain, but I had a new sense of hope. I was pulled through some difficult circumstances I was going through at the time and I knew at that point God very much existed. The only thing I did not know was which religion really worshiped him. I decided I would look into all of them, but one thing I knew for sure, I would never be one of those born again Christians. Basically I did not trust Christians for two reasons; 1. My mom told me I could not and 2. Many of them I knew drank heavily and completely disobeyed God. I knew that that if someone followed God they would be different, they would be good and they would be obedient to Him. I still believe that and seeing gross disobedience to God in the church is one of my biggest struggles.
I spent several years going to different churches and being pulled in different directions. I prayed God would send me to His truth, absolutely no compromises. I prayed He would send me to people that loved him and worshiped him fully and truly. I prayed for the most truth on Earth. The more I mature as a Christian the more I realized how deeply He answered that prayer.
I met Aaron and Katie at a restaurant I worked in, and in their every day lives they proved to be amazing people of God. I spent awhile working with them and observing them and I realized that I was willing to check out their new church Rancho Del Rey. The first few times I went I knew I wanted to come back. It was at the Easter service when I knew this was my answer from God, this is His truth, and this was my destination. I had arrived home. I trusted Matt not because of what he said, but because God told me I could. Although I have been called to a new place I still trust him as a bible teacher more than anyone I have met and God constantly calls me back to gain his knowledge.
SO at this point I began to develop my relationship with God and His word. At the time I had a hard time opening up to others and looking back at my past wondered if God could ever heal the wounds I had suffered and make me a whole person. I prayed and asked God to show me someone that had been through what I had gone through, was healed, was a strong Christian, and could hold down one marriage for life. If He showed me that than I would believe He could heal me too. Shortly after that my radio stumbled on Greg Lauries radio program during the Harvest Crusade while he was sharing his life story. I learned about how his life had been through some of the same turbulence and saw the man God made him, and the family he had maintained for 30 years. God used him to show what He could do, and then my faith in God healing me began. it has been a loooong road. What God has done brings tears to my eyes to this day because I cannot believe he has made me who I am and given me the life I have. I have been blessed so far beyond what words could express. Only God understands all He has done no words on earth will or could ever give Him full credit.
When I first believed I was desperate for help, after I knew who He was I tried to learn about Him and obey, now I am completely in love and would lay down my life, just for Him, no other promises needed.
Now finally…I got called to missions basically because I want to show everyone how God loves us and wants us to be His. I want the world to know it does not matter how far down you are He can bring you up higher than you ever imagined. I want the world to see everything good I have and am is not because of me but because God loves me and has an amazing plan for my life that consists of deep love and happiness. No wound or sin is too much for Him, so many people do not know this. I want to rest in gods presence and listen to where He wants me to go and spread His word. It does not matter where that is I will go anywhere and do anything.
I had no plans to go on the world race. In fact this summer I went to Uganda and I had a very challenging trip. I was emotionally exhausted from that trip and did not expect to be called on a 11 month trip like this. God has made it clear to me this is where he wants me. I trust he can and will use me, grow me, and connect deeply with me through this experience. I told God awhile ago that I want to be the Godliest women He can make me, I think this is all part of that journey.
I think what defines my life right now can be said in two scriptures, Matthew 22:37-38 ” love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind; this is your first and greatest commandment” This is not only written on a ring I will never part with but it is written on every square inch of my heart. and of course, the great commission! Not only does my heart deeply desire to make disciples of all the nations but I live and breath the idea that God is with me always, to the very end of the age.
