Is here..
My squadmates and I are hanging in the limbo of the Eleventh Hour..
I am not sure if it is the caffeine or the Holy Spirit, but I am feeling some power moving around in my bones.
This is it guys.
The past year of preparation, prayer, and preservation coming down to the wire.
I keep relating the feeling to college. You know where you are going. You know that you are, in fact, going. But you still cannot seem to picture yourself going.
I AM GOING TO TRAVEL THE FREAKING WORLD??!!!
Nope. Still hasn’t set in, really.
And yet, in just 11 days, I leave for 11 countries over the span of 11 months.
Better is the end of something than it’s beginning and patience is better than pride. (Proverbs)
Funny enough, just 11 months ago is when I officially applied for the race. See a theme here..
11 months have gone by. God showed up. Big. In people, dreams, songs, prayers, tears, letters, scripture, gifts, provision, and most notably, in my heart.
I can’t say I carried myself with much patience these past 11 months. Or with much humility.
But I can say that I went for it. With tenacity and hunger. With boldness and an eager magnetism. I have gone through the wheel of emotions. I have tried, mostly counting them an effort of futility. And God returned the favor 100 fold, trying to tell me that it is in fact He who will keep His promises to me.
He will continue to work on my heart.
“I know this is hard, Erin, but it’s that heart that I am after. It’s that heart of yours that is my masterpiece.”
He will continue to save my bum. Every. Day.
His mercies are new every morning…(Lamentations)
He will continue to direct me and guide me and point me on the path that He has already laid out for me. He has gone before me, He will go with me through it, and He will be the one waiting for me when He has fulfilled all of His promises calling me His Beloved. (Joshua, Isaiah)
In this Eleventh Hour, I have been tempted with (and honestly given into) confusion, doubt, ungratefulness, anxiety, disconnection, deprivation, pity, restlessness, unrelenting bitterness, and indulgence.
In this Eleventh Hour, the enemy is now trying everything he can. Talk about an effort in futility. His entire (non)existence is characterized by efforts in futility.
Relate it to the Emancipation Proclamation. I read in a book somewhere, that our freedom is similar to that of the slaves. The slave owners knew of the freedom proclomation, but the slaves themselves did not. In efforts to keep them from hearing the good news, the slave owners made sure they never learned to read, never spoke to people who knew the good news and kept telling them that they were slaves. As long as the slaves believed they were still enslaved, they were going to still live as such.
This is the enemy’s ploy. Try to thwart us and throw things in our line of sight that would make us question our freedom.
However, in this Eleventh Hour, against all of the thwarting ploys and futile, feeble efforts, my squad mates and I are undoubtedly, Free.
Free to go into the holy wild and the sweet unknown (hazaakfjhilurg).
Free to give everything and not live with a poverty mindset. Free to leave everything. Free to hold on to only what we can stuff in a back pack. Free to not wear make up (HALLEFREAKINLUJAH). Free to say goodbyes. Free to boldly hold our hearts up and open without fear. Free to invite the Holy Spirit with us step for step. Free to speak into lives, words of freedom. Free to take up our cross with all of it’s Holy apportioned power and do “greater works than these” in order to bring healing to people.
Free to forgive. Free to be compassionate. Free to help. Free to act. Free to love. Because how many of us believe the lie that love will only bring more slavery. True love, that brings freedom, my little babies.
Free to end up being wrong, at times. Free to make mistakes, at times. Free to feel the natural feelings that come with this. Free to seek forgiveness. Free to forgive ourselves. Free to receive. Free to be served.
Free.
In the Eleventh Hour, The Wolfpack is free.
Team Ezer is free.
Erin Elizabeth Cramer is free.
Praise God.
The next time I talk to y’all, I will FINALLY have something productive to write about! Stories. Lives. Work. Smiles. Things from the field. FINALLY!
THANK YOU, EVERYONE! For coming with me thus far and keeping up with these pedantic readings. Rest assured, we will be venturing into some good reads in the next months.
Other updates (as if freedom isn’t enough info):
I will not be taking my phone with me through out this time. If you would like to keep in contact with me, please email me:
PLEASE DON’T FORGET THE ‘E’ IN THE MIDDLE, PEOPLE.
To compensate, I did purchase a lil chromebook for like $150. It, in fact, was NOT free. Still not bad for me.
THE BENEFIT JAM II IS GOING DOWN, PARTY PEOPLE!
My last night in town. Me and my brother, Jordy, will be singing and playing a lil acoustic set.
Friday, June 26th at 7:30 pm. 1635 Rogers Rd, 76107. My former boss has blessed the mess out of me again and allowed me to use some office space. There will be lemonade, hot dogs, and pie. Come on.
