Our entire squad [55 of us] lives together in close quarters this month. Really close. Myself and 15 other women sleep in one room on bunk beds. You'd think our sleeping arrangements look something like this:
…but this is what it looks like actually:
That is the top of 7 bunks smashed together. Mine is smack dab in the middle, the one with the most junk on it. As soon as we arrived late at night on the 9th and I dropped my stuff in front of the beds [with not even a crack separating them] I knew it was an indication of what community living would look like on the race. After that night I became suddenly conscious of what I wear to sleep. I could roll over in the middle of the night and wake up spooning Angela or Laura.
In a humongous family-oriented environment like this my attention and response and interaction and sacrifice are constantly in demand.
Exhibit A: The other night I excitedly opened a bag of Albanian bruschetta vegetable-flavored crisps. I immediately stuffed five of them down my throat like a kid who just got cotton candy for the first time in a year. Less than ten seconds later two girls burst into the room. “Does anybody have any snacks??” I looked into their desperate hungry eyes. Ugh. Why couldn’t I wait 20 more seconds? I handed them the bag wondering why I didn’t think to eat the chips in a squatty potty stall. Nobody would think to look for snacks there.
Other indicators of life on the race include but aren’t limited to:
- Your stuff isn't yours. Especially on travel days. There's always one pit stop where one person thought to bring wet wipes off the bus and none of those will make it back on the bus.
- As soon as one person spots you chewing gum and asks for a piece it’ll have the ripple effect and, BOOM. Gone.
- When you have earbuds in, other racers flail their arms and throw your own stuff at you to get your attention. Sometimes they have legitimate reason to but it’s normally to say “hi”. I’ve learned to resort to earbuds, sunglasses, and staring straight up at the sky. Looks weird but it works. Sometimes.
- Someone spots you having quiet time with your earbuds so they sit down next to you, stick their earbuds in, and pretend they want to have quiet time too. They actually want to chat with you and it works most times #extrovertprobs
- on your time off, people who are more introverted than you wander into your room looking for someone [you] to be social with. “I’m bored.” #introvertprobs
- If the wifi is really slow and all the outlets have leggo-stacked blocks of wire protruding from them.. it’s because we have arrived.
"The struggle is real" is a phrase some of the girls made up and we use it jokingly a lot. But the struggle of community living is real. As much as extroverts claim it’s the best thing in the world [and you’d think they’d all be naturals at it] the truth is we’re all a bunch of human beings awkwardly learning how to live in each other’s space and give each other space. We argue and problem solve [not always gracefully] but we’re learning how to recognize the lies of the enemy. His attacks come in the form of simple arguments and gossip that can blow up into something obnoxious and unnecessary.
Like the huge pile of clothes and dead weight being left behind in Albania, R squad is dropping our own dead weight in the form of selfishness, immaturity, pride, insecurity, greed. Simultaneously we’re packing on more of the identity Christ gave us a long time ago and it feels free.
Yesterday I walked down the lonnnng rocky driveway from the corner store back to our ministry camp:
Wait. I'm alone?? I felt a skip in my step as I started dancing and singing to the tunes in my ear. The sunset appeared more beautiful than before and so did all the dirt and weeds. The music felt like a soundtrack that was made for me in this moment. Suddenly I could grasp what it feels like [or should feel like] to carry the burden of Christ: light and airy [Matt 11:30]. Since his character and truth stays the same, I believe we can get to the place where his burden is light and airy and freeing even when you add 54 people to that equation.
We're only getting started.
