I have written and re-written this blog post over 6 times. I’ll write a paragraph and end up deleting it. I have these thoughts in my head like it’s not good enough or maybe “no one is interested in what you have to say” but I know that’s a lie straight from Satan’s mouth. He doesn’t want me to be vulnerable and honest with y’all so guess what I am going to be? VULNERABLE AND HONEST. Here we go.
I’ve been procrastinating a lot of things recently. I’ve tried to psychoanalyze it and I think it’s out of fear. I feel like the closer I get to leaving, the more spiritual warfare I am experiencing. Which makes complete sense. If I was the devil, and someone was about to do something that directly opposed me and my plans, I would definitely try to throw them off somehow. I would put as many obstacles in their path as I could. I know that’s what’s happening. But guess what? I am writing this post, I am raising support, I am going across the world, I am doing all the things that scare me and the devil can suck it.
I have until April to raise $5,000. I have been procrastinating talking about it because it scares me. More than anything, I feel the Lord asking me to invite people to be apart of what He is going to do. I know that there is fruit to be had in this. I have experienced it and I want others to experience it. The blessings are yours! That’s what this support is about. It’s not about the funds, it’s about people. It’s about hearts and life change and YOU can be apart of that. If you feel the Lord pulling on your heart to give – whether that be through prayer or monetarily, I ask you not to fight it. Not because of any gain on my part, I know the Lord provides no matter the circumstances, but out of wanting YOU to experience the joy you will receive through being a part of reaching people over this next year.
Psalm 38:4 – Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.
I want to thank all the people who have already given. I am eternally grateful and I know your faith in the Lord will bear fruit!
Want to know what else scares me? THIS BLOG. I am not big on social media and it scares me to put my thoughts and feelings out there for everyone and their mama to view. This is way outside of my comfort zone but I know the more I do it, the better I’ll get and I am excited for the opportunity to grow! It’s hard for me to be totally transparent. I try to put off that I have everything together, but I don’t. Spiritually, I am still a work in progress (as we all are) and I want to be honest about what I am experiencing, even if it’s not as “put together” as I would like it to be. SO I have made a promise to myself and to the Lord that I am not going to sugar coat things on this platform. I am going to freely throw myself at this and see what the Lord does with it. No more fear. Idk maybe this blog post was more for me than for y’all..
Either way. I’m here and I’m ready and I’ll see y’all next week.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:28
Heavenly Father,
I am SO THANKFUL that you helped me to finally complete this blog post. You and I both know how much of a struggle it was. I pray that you help me to continually drive out that spirit of fear that pops into my head whenever I am about to do something that aligns with your will. I pray that through this blog, you help me to open myself up to others and to embrace vulnerability. I pray a blessing over anyone who reads this. I pray that if they are experiencing fear of any kind (fear of failure, fear of rejection, etc.) in their lives that you would help them to acknowledge it and invite them to step closer to you. Sometimes that means taking a step in a direction we are new to or unfamiliar with.. give us faith! We know you are good and perfect and that you want what’s best for us! There’s nothing to be scared of when we have you! I am thankful for both Ms. Trigg and Davey, who encouraged me to have confidence to speak about all you are doing in my life. Also, I thank you for all those who gave out of the kindness of their hearts; whether monetarily or through prayer. I pray special blessings over these people and their families. Thank you so much for dying for us so we can have this relationship with you. Doing life with you is something special and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I love you so so much. In Jesus name I pray all these thing, AMEN.
– E
