I don’t have enough faith for this. Not yet anyway.
Our lovely Michigan winter, and icy roads had taken another victim; my Ford Taurus. While pulling into the parking lot Saturday night my car slid into the curb and with a ka-chunk I knew my car was not going to be ok. After frozen yogurt I drove my car home, and the steering wheel shook the entire time. Not good.
Sunday evening I took my car to the alignment shop down the road with prayers of please let it just be a simple, inexpensive fix.
At work Monday I get the call from the mechanic. He starts to tell me all the little things that are wrong; a bent rim, ball joints damaged, the alignment is off, tires that needed to be balanced and a few other things I just didn’t write down. Coincidently little things add up to big money.
My mind immediately floods with all the other financial needs and wants in my life; my World Race funding, money that needs to be saved to pay student loans while I’m gone, money to get to training camp in May and launch in July…the list went on.
I laid down my head and in a moment of honesty told Abba I don’t know if I have enough faith for this. This all seems so impossible. These are big numbers. Where is this coming from?? I was reminded of my Sunday afternoon, and song lyrics that had become the prayer of my heart.
“Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders. Let me walk upon the waters wherever you would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior.”
I picked my head up. I had spent the day before asking God to grow my faith, to take me deeper. Now deeper I go. I don’t have enough faith for this yet, but thankfully I know the one perfecting my faith.
Hebrews 12:1-2 Therefore since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes of Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith.
