Today my thoughts are jumbled.
We said goodbye to our team leader this morning. She has been struggling within herself since
we arrived in Guatemala four weeks ago, and finally decided that God was
calling her to leave the world race. My
emotions are mixed.
I support her with my whole heart for being obedient
to God and making a very difficult decision.
She will have to go home and explain to her supporters why she is back,
and I don’t envy her for how difficult that will probably be. I’m proud of her for choosing to take care of
herself, and for being willing to swallow her pride and hold her head high.
But this is the second person to leave our team, and
we are now just five strong. I feel
needy and clingy and I don’t want to lose anyone else. I am going to miss Christine so much! She has been an amazing leader and
friend. In such a short amount of time,
she has taught me so much about character.
She always puts others before her.
She is always observing the rest of us, and she knows how to meet each
of our needs. She is slow to speak, slow
to anger. She is the first to offer
words of encouragement and affirmation.
She is the perfect listener. She
is one of the most humble, gracious, kind, loving, responsible, and respectable
people I have ever know, and I was amazed daily by the person she is. I know God will continue to grow her, and she
will continue to bless everyone she comes into contact with. Her heart is so big.
So today I am sad.
But I know I will rejoice soon.
God says, “you now have sorrow; but I will see you again and your heart
will rejoice, and your joy no one will take from you” (John 16:22).
So this is just another of the many tribulations our
team will face this year. My flesh kicks
and screams but my soul rejoices because God rewards those who endure.
“…but we also
glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and
perseverance character; and character hope.”
Romans 5:3-4
So I am hopeful.
I am hopeful that God has so much in store for our tiny little team that
we can’t even begin to comprehend it. I
am hopeful that though we are small, He will use us in a mighty way and we will
shake the nations with the power and authority God has given us. We are confused at the moment, and we’re not
sure where we are going or what else is ahead of us. But we are clinging to each other and to
God’s promises.
“I will bring the blind by a way they did not know;
I will lead them in paths they have not known.
I will make darkness light before them, and crooked places
straight.” Isaiah 42:16
God uses all things for his glory. He will use this too! We’re not always sure why things happen,
especially the things that hurt us…but one thing we do know is that God is good. So he will use this for good. Because we love Him. And because we trust Him.
“And we know
that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are
the called according to His purpose.”
Romans 8:28
So we’re choosing as a team to rejoice. And we look forward to the joy that comes in
the morning.
