Today was a day. A day I won’t soon forget. Today, My Father in Heaven revealed Himself to me in a personal way. He taught me things in the way I learn best, personal struggle. It was a hard day, It was a good day, and it’s time to talk about it.
Lets set the stage:
As many of you know, I have been doing a Daniel Fast for almost 3 weeks now. Because of this I have been experiencing and unprecedented level of of intimacy and have heard his voice unlike ever before. As I have grown accustom to this intimacy, I then was able to notice when it was interrupted.
Over the past few days, I have been under attack. A particular sin that I have struggled with reared it’s ugly head, Lust. This has plagued me over the last few days as I have battled with it, to varying results. The struggle itself has caused me to feel Shame. Luckily, I learned shame has no place in my life and I shared my struggle with my Ohana brothers. They were able to help but I still felt there was something in the way of the intamacy I had been experiencing.
Something had to change. And I felt a calling to the mountains near where we are staying. So it was decided, I was going to spend the day climbing the mountain in search of God’s voice. I also felt lead to not eat again until I had. So, I let my team know last night, got some good sleep, and woke up early for the adventure.
This morning I woke up around 8, got dressed, brushed my teeth, read some morning scripture, and headed out the door. Not exactly sure where I was heading or exactly what I was looking for, I just put on my next podcast in Romans from Church of Eleven22 and headed up the road towards the mountain.
I followed the road for maybe 2 miles before I found a trailhead by a river. I was able to follow this trail for maybe another mile or 2 before I came to another road. This road alternated between paved and dirt and at this point the first podcast had finished so I switched it up to some worship music. And came to the end of the road. So as I jumped into my second Romans podcast I finally headed up the mountain.
Disclaimer: From this point on I bush wacked and followed game trails exclusively!
As I start my second podcast, I find out that it is all about submitting to authority. (If you know me you know this struggle) And. He starts the conviction. At one point Paul says to “Pay to all what is owed to them:…” Here he is referencing Jesus in Matthew 22. The Pharisees plot against Jesus and ask if it is lawfully to pay taxes to Caesar. Jesus answers in vs 20 & 21 saying, “…’Whose likeness and inscription is this?’ They said, ‘Caesar’s.’ Then He said to them, ‘Therefore render to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and to God the things that are God’s.'”
In this passage Jesus basically says, this coin has the image of Caesar so give it to Caesar but anything with the image of God, give that to God! And what bears the image of God? We do, Humans! We bear the image of God therefore we are called to give ourselves over to Him.
This is now something that I believe that is true, but not sure if I truly believe in it yet. But at this point my phone is almost dead so I stop listening to stuff and there is silence. At first, I start to force some prayer, slowly it starts feeling more natural and normal. Then 11 am hits and my “Selah” alarm goes off.(“Selah” comes from Psalms and is believed to be a musical term for a pause.) I got the idea to use this as an opportunity to pause and bring God into whatever I am doing. So I pause to read Daniel 11 (I am studying Daniel to go with my Daniel fast). However, I kept hearing what i believed was a larger wild animal and it was quite a confusing passage so I quickly started my trek again.
As I begin, I start to ask God why I hadn’t seen much wildlife. Shortly after, I ask Him for a sign that He is present, that He is listening, any sign at all. And just as I come over the next ridge, there they are. about a dozen wild horses. I think I audibly laughed.
As I approached, they raised their heads to watch me but did not run. So as I came up on the first, I extend my hand and blow towards it’s face (Shannon the horse expert told us that is how they greet each other so it would calm them). And it worked! He allowed me to approach and even touch his face for a moment. When he became disinterested, I kept moving and another crossed my path. Using the same tactic, I was able to touch this one as well!
Feeling quite elated, I then continue into my journey. Around the same time I saw the horses, I also reached the snow line. Hiking in the snow was exciting at first but, after the cold seeped through my socks, it lost it’s wonder. At this point it was 1 pm, I had had an encounter with God, I had hiked about 6+ miles, rose in elevation almost 5,000 feet, hadn’t eaten any food that day, my phone was dying, and was tired and cold. So I decided it was time to head back.
Instead of hiking the entire way back, I was going to hit the closest road and catch a bus back. I checked my map and saw a road only about 2 miles away (as the crow flies). So I decided I would take the most direct route back. This meant going straight down the mountain through, what I believe was, a water run off track.
As I descend, I begin to regret this decision. The way down was quite treacherous! Besides the normal thorns, slips, and rolled ankles. I also had a boulder, bigger than a bowling ball, come loose and hit me square in the shin. Then not to long after that, I rolled my ankle so hard that my ankle felt like it popped out of and back into socket. This was excruciating! I sat for more than a moment and was like, “What are you doing God? Do you want me to be stranded? What’s the big idea?” Then it hit me.
I have been holding back. I had not really been giving God what he is owed, all of myself. And he was teaching me in the way I learn best. Physical suffering!
I finished my descent, found the road, and a bus. All the while, asking the Father to give me strength!
Strength to surrender.
Strength to obey.
Strength to live every moment for Him.
On the bus, I read Daniel 12. The final verse reads, “But go your way till the end. And you shall rest and shall stand in your allotted place at the end of the days.”
Daniel lived his life on fire for God! He submitted to every authority, first to God, then to the conquering Kings (when they didn’t directly oppose God’s Law). And this is how you shall find rest. Only after running after God, as he ran after you!
Thank you for joining me on my adventure! Remember, Jesus and I love you!
