The week my parents came to visit me in Guatemala I had the opportunity to speak about feedback. Feedback is a weekly thing we partake in on the race, but its become more of a day to day thing as we’ve gotten used to it.
The definition of feedback is Information about reactions to a product, a persons performance of a task, etc. Which used as a basis for improvement.
But I personally believe that the verse Proverbs 27:17 is a better definition
“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another”
On the race we practice two types of feedback, encouraging and constructive. Both types can help an individual grow tremendously if they now how to give and receive it.
But the best way I can describe how to give feedback is the Balls scenario they used at training camp. You have three balls, A ping pong ball, a tennis ball and a bowling ball. When giving feedback you want to give it as a tennis ball. Let me explain.
When you give feedback as a ping pong ball your words have barely any affect. some People might dwell on it for a day and then forget and some people never receive it.
Bowling ball feedback is when you just load it onto to someone. Its going to hurt some feelings just like a bowling ball would break some bones. This is going to alter how somebody lives their life. They could either think they’re doing everything wrong or they could go out of their way to hide from you.
Tennis ball feedback is when you get hit with the words but they are filled with love for you so you try to work through/ask God about what you’ve been given. You try and not get that feedback again, or are at least working on what you were given.
This ball scenario also works in how to receive it.
Feedback was a very rough concept for me to grasp. I received some that people did not give out of love and it made me hate all types of confrontation. I thought that feedback was people pointing out my flaws and that the encouragement that came with it was to allow myself some cushion as I was hurting. I realize thats not the case now. When I got to training camp and they talked about it I thought I would be able to coast through the race without taking any of the feedback. I realized pretty quickly that it wouldn’t work because people kept bringing things to my attention. Yes feedback is awkward the first couple times…. and at random times still is. Trust me I understand the awkwardness… I have this smile that only comes out in times of feedback.
In the six months that I have been on my race my outlook on feedback has completely changed. I like hearing what I could work on. It gives me something to walk alongside God with and work through. But getting to this point has not been an easy journey you see…
Feedback is all about how you give it, receive it and walk in it.
Ephesians 4:25—32
“Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members o one body. In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but most work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit ofGod, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
Giving Feedback
- Matthew 5:23-24”
Therefore, If you are offering your gift at the alter and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift in front of the alter. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift”
- LEAVE IT AT THE ALTER
- Don’t go to bed angry
- Don’t be scared to talk to people about whats happening
- Proverbs 18:21
“the tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”
- make sure your heart is in the right place
- say you’re feedback with love
- you don’t want people to be running from you because of your words
- James 3:9-12
“With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing.my brothers and sisters this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers and sisters can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.”
- it says right before this that nobody can tame the tongue
- We use our tongue to praise God and curse Human beings…WHYYYY
- We need to use our words to honor not destroy
Receiving Feedback
Open Heart open mind
- James 1:19-24
“ My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. Therefore get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. Do not merely listen to the word, and so decide yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word and but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and after looking at himself, goes away and immeadittly forget what he looks like.”
- Don’t brush aside what is said
- TAKE IT TO JESUS IF YOU DON’T KNOW
- say thank you…. yes I know thats hard to do if you just received some hard stuff but it let’s the person know that you heard them.
How to walk in it
- Colossians 3:12-14
“Therefore as Gods Chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity
- Take it to Jesus.. if it’s not for you leave it, if it is for you take it and work through it with him.
- Be humble as you receive positive feedback… don’t make yourself seem better
- If someones feedback makes you mad FORGIVE THEM ANYWAYS….they are doing this out of love for you
- If you are confused on why you got something pull the person aside and talk it out
If you have any questions about feedback comment below or email me… I am not an expert on feedback not even close but I have learned a lot about it on the race.
P.S. when I come home there is a chance that I will be giving out feedback… I’m going to say sorry in advance, please remember that I will be giving it to you out of love
