Y’all, its a new year and a new decade. 10 years ago I was 9. More specifically, I was most likely riding my bike to my best friends house to play manhunt (if you know, you KNOW how intense) or pouring various liquids on my sisters head whenever she dared to cross my path (yes, I was that sibling, lets get over it). Also, I was learning basic multiplication which definitely did not stick very well because my family had a debate on what 7×9 was the other night..hint my dad was the only correct one. YGG Mark. I didn’t follow Jesus, or read my Bible, or go to church.
Religion vs. Relationship was explained to me 4 years ago. My heart started longing for Jesus about 3 years ago. My life started reflecting my heart about 1 year ago.
It makes me laugh at myself for thinking I knew it all, especially at 9, but also living separated from my maker. In my most impressionable years might I add. 9 year old girls now are consumed by eating disorders, depression, crippling anxiety, self hatred. 9 year olds. And if they don’t know how loved they are by God and how worthy they are…? “And I will be to her a wall of fire all around, declares the LORD, and I will be the glory in her midst.” Zachariah 2:5 If only every 9 year old believed this, well that my friend would make the enemy explode with rage and shake in disgust – just how we like it.
…
Honestly, reflecting on the past year has been hard enough (LOTS of changes&decisions), but God pushed me to dwell on the last decade for awhile. It’s hard to do since I went through middle and high school in the past decade – a truly cruel time in life where embarrassment has no ceiling, but it was a sweet reminder of how the Lord with just one word, changes everything.
I was stubborn this decade. God called, and I ran. God spoke, and I covered my ears. God cried for me to come home, I laughed at this request.
I was saved this decade. God loved, and I broke. God chased, I surrendered. God broke chains, I was freed.
This year I worshipped more than I ever have. I got on my hands and knees in church. I prayed, desperate prayer when I felt weak. I sung high praises when I was joyful. I forgave and forgot. I boasted about my God. I was brave and bold in my faith. I listened to what God was calling me to do. I let my heart set fire and burn in love for my Father. I learned more about the character of Jesus and who he calls ME to be.
This year I had days when I didn’t want to believe. I had days where I was absent from God. I questioned the goodness of God. I gave into earthly desires. I cussed. I sinned. I ran. I let my brokenness linger for too long. I gave into lies of the enemy. I believed the devil instead of God’s word.
This new year I demand even more surrender from myself.
– more prayer, deep prayer. Meditating with God and sitting in his presence. I want the most intimate moments I’ve had with him thus far to be in 2020. Also, I want to pray WITH more people and for more people.
– more wisdom. Memorize more (the memory gainz). Bible verses & facts, I want to know more.
– endurance. this is my word of the year for myself. I had the most intimate year with Jesus, but as all walks are, it was shaky. Every morning when I wake up, I am in awe of God and want to continue to pursue him harder every. single. day.
– drink more water. hydrate or diedrate.
I ask one thing from you this year – when you see me ASK WHAT I’VE BEEN LEARNING or ask your friends!…A year of accountability babyyyy !!!
I thank the Lord for loving me so intensely. I thank God for having a bigger plan. I thank God for 2019, the year of surrender and boldness.
Also, I’m turning 20 this year. That’s terrifying. Let me know if you have advice, because Lord knows I need it.
For you always,
Em
