Sometimes darkness it’s hidden. Sometimes there is a light shining upon it.
Last Wednesday & Thursday night was a time where we encountered darkness which is often hidden. Most people know about it, but most individuals turn a blind eye to it. It sits hidden in the eery streets, parks, bars, clubs, hotels, & other locations. It sits hidden in darkness. It’s hidden in the shadows of places where, during the day time, you wouldn’t think it existed. It often has shame & guilt attached to it for individuals involved. & more often than not, an unhealthy cycle of addiction & brokenness is formed through it.
Last Wednesday night, I walked through one of the lowest class areas of the red light district in Indonesia. & my heart broke. Last Thursday night all the girls on my team ‘bought’ a girl’s time at a karaoke bar, to hang out with her & share the hope found in Jesus with her for a few hours. & my heart broke again.
Why are we going into places like these? Because that’s where Light needs to be spread, & true Love needs to be demonstrated.
Both nights were two different physical atmospheres, but the same darkness was lurking- the same spiritual heaviness was present. Both nights my heart felt heavy & heartbroken for each & every girl we encountered. On Wednesday we encountered girls my age & women in their forties. On Thursday night, the girl we ‘bought’ was nineteen & had just finished high school. Different ages, different stories, but the same brokenness.
But, despite the heavy heart I felt both nights, I can’t help but see this as a glimpse & opportunity into how Jesus feels about people. It’s a glimpse into Jesus’ grief, love, compassion, & burning heart for every single person on earth. It’s a glimpse into how Abba views each & every single person as worthy, valued, precious in His sight, & deeply loved. & it’s something the Spirit is re-teaching me.
We had only just started walking down a pitch black street on Wednesday night when I took the above picture, just steps away from where women started showing up to work for the night. This image represents so much, more than words could ever depict over the past two nights. But, holistically, it represents so much about how I felt both nights.
There’s two ways you can view the image: you can view this through the lens of a single pure & innocent flower that was trampled over & left for dead. Or, you can view this through a lens that despite the cracks on the ground & the pitch black darkness that surrounds, there is beauty evident in brokenness.
Wednesday night we heard stories filled with abuse as we walked the pitch black streets in a park. Being a ‘low class area’ for the red light district, everything happens right then & there, in the dirt & surrounded by darkness. No dinner, no hotel. & men were starting to hide behind trees in the dark while we were walking, praying, & talking to women.
It was easy to view stories & situations through a lens of women & girls who were & are taken for granted, hurt, & discarded by men- either by their own choice, or by force, earning the equivalent to $7-14usd for the night. But, as I looked into the eyes of each woman & girl we talked to & prayed over, all I could see was their beauty evident in their brokenness, hidden behind their make-up & facade.
Thursday night as we walked into a semi-hidden karaoke bar, my heart immediately started hurting & I felt physically sick. In order to ‘buy’ a girl for a night, you had to pick between approx twenty girls, all dressed & glammed up, sitting in a small glass viewing room, waiting to be picked for the night. The girls in this ‘waiting room’ couldn’t see anyone on the outside. But on the other side of the glass, everyone can see them, waiting to be picked. We prayed over a girl, & ‘picked’ one of the youngest girls available.
The girl we picked, by choice, puts herself in situations where she entertains men at night, filling a void in her heart. She ran away from home, her dad is always away overseas for work purposes, & she hides what she does from her family.
During the night, she broke down while one of our friends was sharing her personal story & the Love of Abba with her. & in that moment, I almost broke down too watching her reaction. In that moment, I physically saw how much her heart internally was hurting. But I also immediately saw Abba wrap his arms around her. How Abba sees her beauty in her brokenness.
Throughout both nights, I had a song on repeat in my mind- all about being seen, even when you’re hiding. I saw the desperation of women & girls who, for the most part, just want to be seen, even though they’re hiding behind facades. They long to be seen in their brokenness, & they long for true Love.
You are seen, even if you’re hiding, whoever is reading this.
To all those that are hiding, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for the lies that you’ve believed. & I wish you could see that Truth. Know that every teardrop you have cried, has been bottled up & recognised. & that you’re seen, even though you’re hiding. I wish you knew what Abba could do, with a broken heart & your bruises. I pray that you’ll be able to see the Light that’s shining, but for now, whatever your circumstance, I’m sorry. I pray that you’ll begin to know you are so deeply loved. Abba sees you. He sees your pain. He sees your grief. & He wants to know you. You are seen, even though you are hiding.
Reminder: you are seen, even if you’re hiding. Yes, you.
UPDATE!
I am just over 74% funded (US$14,369). I only have US$4831 left to fundraise!!
Points for those journeying w me in prayer!
: prayer for financial provision for fundraising
: health- I’m still getting over being sick since we’ve been in Indonesia
: unity with my team mates, squad family, & leadership team for this year
: prayer for every person who I have connected with whilst being in Indonesia. I have been able to connect relationally with a number of girls & a couple of guys, & have started to journey with a couple of them, & had one on one hang outs with them. Prayer for continued friendship, open hearts, & continued deep conversations to be had
