I’ve been in Cambodia for about a week and a half now, and the pace of life here is so strange to me. Sometimes I feel busy. I’m definitely on a schedule when it comes to my hours in the classroom, but there’s also a lot of space that’s open. There are lots of hours for me to choose how to spend them and it’s been interesting to notice that my natural tendency is to desire to fill my free time with “doing something”.
Back home life is just so full. There’s always something to do or something I’m not doing or something I should be doing. If I want, I can always find something to occupy my time. I love to feel like I’ve achieved things and been successful with my time, so back home I’d often fill my day with lots of activity to give myself the feeling of fulfillment when I made it to the end of the day alive.
Being here has started to open up my eyes to the value of rest and the importance of open space when it comes to my relationship with the Lord. Yesterday we spent a full 24 hours resting. This was actually kind of difficult for me even though my body was physically tired and rest sounded like a great idea. I was excited to spend my time doing some things I had decided I needed to get done, and also planned on spending time with the Lord working through some of the things that had been on my heart. Before I could do this though, we were encouraged to go into our time with God without an agenda. I realized that this idea was really foreign to me. Usually, when I spend time with the Lord I have a plan; a list of questions for Him to answer or thoughts to process or specific prayers to pray. All of these things are good and have a place in my relationship with Him, but many times I forget to simply just be with Him.
So I decided to put away the things I had planned to talk to Him about and instead just sit with Him. And 3 hours flew by as I just hung out with Him. It was awesome! Finding fulfillment in Him is more stable than sure than finding it in my own accomplishments, and it’s way more real.
I’m learning about myself here and how I tend to fill my time with things just for the sake of being busy and feeling accomplished. American culture in general just likes to be busy I think. Being still and having down time does not come naturally to me, but it’s something that I’m learning how to value and do. I’m learning to take the time to do what really matters and give my relationship with God more open space to let Him take me wherever He wants.
Slow down! Take a Sabbath!
