Six months in. Three months out. Those are the numbers that keep running through my head. PVT. Final debrief. Those are the words that keep running through my head. On the Race it is so easy to find yourself in your thoughts. My thoughts typically tend to live three to six months in the future. I am going to be honest, it is a battle for me to be present here everyday. Not that I am not enjoying my time here, it has been the most life transformational six months of my life. I have to be so intentional about how I am spending my time. If I have free reign on the internet for a day, you can bet I will be mentally halfway home. Daydreaming about what my family is doing, living through my friends’ college experiences. A couple weeks ago God spoke to me that I needed to be present here. Stop scrolling through your pictures from home. Stop stalking your family and friends on the internet. This time and space and community is a once in a lifetime opportunity. I will never live with the girls I am living with right now again. There are only so many team times left. Let’s make the most of them. I am fighting being mentally halfway home, but I have hope that I am not fighting alone. I am still in it.
In two days we leave for the Philippines. We have been praying over our time there and asking the Lord to give us some vision for our team as a whole and each member individually. God has spoken over me the words “unplug” “center” and “fall”. Paired with 1 John 4:16,17,18 “And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgement: In this world we are like Jesus. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” I am pressing the reset button heading into the Philippines. Getting back to basics with God. Letting His perfect love center me and allowing myself to fall back into His arms. Yes and Amen to that. Continue to pray for my team as we are transitioning into another country, ministry, and stage of life. Leadership is stepping back and giving us the space to take ownership of the last half of the Race. Make it our own. Own it so we have set disciplines to own as we enter America. Pray that we own it. Sending love for one last time from South Africa!
– Emma
