Hey there!!! Before 2020 begins, I have a few things I would like to say. Writing has always been the easiest way for me to get things off of my chest, so here I am!
This year has been… challenging. very new. foreign. exciting. calm and safe. interesting. The best year so far.
Being fully honest, I doubted my faith for a lot of the year. I didn’t know where to start, how to sustain, how to be the person I wanted to be by doing that myself. That was the hardest part of my whole year- wanting to control everything in my life without letting the true Controller do it for me.
I never knew what it was like to feel truly comfortable when I wasn’t in control. This year taught me that it is totally okay to let go of that perfectionism and just surrender.
I never knew how to let the Lord take my problems after I had dealt with them for a little bit. This year taught me that all He wants to do is help me.
I never knew that all it really takes is that simple “yes”. This year taught me that.
In Psalm 23, we are reminded that the beauty and love of God chases after us all the days of our lives. that we are back Home in the house of the Lord.
A sweet reminder for me, someone who wanted to run so far and not be caught for the rest of her life. But at the same time I wanted to be caught. I just didn’t know what would satisfy that craving. 2019 taught me that Jesus will. Not a single other thing in the entire world will satisfy what I need the most.
Going into this new year, I don’t feel anxious or overwhelmed. I don’t have any wild new years resolutions that I won’t be able to conquer, I don’t have any baggage that I am dragging with me into the year that I am too afraid to let go of. I can only say thank you to Jesus for those accomplishments, ones that at some parts of the year I didn’t think would ever stop haunting me.
I have full trust that this year I will be renewed day after day because He is merciful every single morning (Lamentations 3). I will tackle life slowly and with kindness and fullness because I owe that to the Lord. We all do. The Creator of the Earth and every single one of us, the One who loves without a drop of envy or anger, the One who wants nothing more than for us to be full, deserves our utmost kindness and love towards ourselves and others. That is the 2020 resolution that tops them all.
Be reminded from this choppy post that there is nothing more life-giving than the giver of life Himself. There is nothing more important than pursuing him day after day. Be reminded that He walks by our side in every single hardship, every single good and bad day. He cares for us more than we can ever fathom.
To close, here is a tiny excerpt I found that I wrote next to Isaiah 40.
“He never stops to catch his breath. He keeps going. He gives strength to the weak. He holds us up. He doesn’t come and go. He’s never mad. He doesn’t ignore us.”
Blessings and Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
