Hello! Launch is quickly approaching (in 8 days, to be exact!), and I honestly cannot tell you my feelings on leaving. I am so excited to be traveling and getting to know the world, yet I am so anxious about leaving my family and friends behind for such a long period of time! However, today I thought I would share something a little bit different than my thoughts on the Race.
This is a love letter to God. Strange, I know. God is a father figure, a holy being. But several days ago, I was sitting in a dimly lit room with about a dozen other people who were sitting and singing or meditating with God, and I felt this pull to write a love poem. I have written poetry all my life. Writing poetry is one of my favorite things to do. But recently, my heart just hasn’t been in it. The emotions in me were (and still are) very jumbled and confused and mixed. Nothing that was coming out of my pen made sense or meant anything to me except frustration. I guess I just sort of gave up. So, when I wrote this poem after months of boring, bland nothingness, the passion with which I wrote it was astounding. I thought I would share it with you! I don’t really know why I’m posting this here, but yes. A love letter. To God. Cool. Here we go.
i have a sway
an ease around you
fresh breaths, clear eyes
you are a purple shade
aglow up above me
streaking the styrofoam ceiling
in hazy paint strokes
undulating
warming
like a great, pulsing
calm
a constant current
pushing my hips
my waist
my slender, wandering arms
your pure
radiant energy
cannot be contained
even my fingers
become alight with it
the easy waltz of
a conductor
honing his emotions,
the push and pull of
his heartstrings
syncing to something above
drawn by an upward pull
he can’t help but notice
his sweet, frantic dance –
the same as mine –
drifting up to you
to those beautiful lavender skies
full of your beautiful face
your beautiful
satisfying
pure
self!
yes, oh, yes!
and there you are!
someone had better hold me down
for i scream hymns!
their delicate, ancient words
ripping out of my lungs
a clash of elegance and fervor
no more silence for me!
for all of a sudden
my heart is thundering
you’re here
i no longer have to wait
for your ears to rest on my cries
your plum-colored presence
bleeds out between
each layer of atmosphere
like blossoms
of drops of ink
in water
twining your
wine-stained fingers
in my hair
a gentle lover
sweetly brushing my
joyous, passionate tears –
for they are passionate –
from my cheeks
reaching over and kissing
the salt stains left on my skin
i am restless
wild
ready
i want to pull you up
from your seat
where you have been watching me –
in all my tears
and thrashing, jittery, thunderous
heartbeats.
a knowing smile
rests ever so softly on your lips.
i love when you get up
and dance with me
in the quiet of my bedroom,
smiles making our cheeks ache
eyes meeting
yours so reassuring
your shirt loose
and berry purple
our breaths synchronize
chests heaving
and you laugh
out of the utmost delight
and then you scoop me
up and over
to a lovely, easy rest
that you have prepared just for me
peace
and comfort
and soft, assuring, simple presence
spread out like
the finest cushions and silks
to rest my
rejoicing, out-of-breath spirit in
and there you are
standing before me
i shake my head in such awe.
there you are, God
in all your
dazzle-eyed, breathless, royal purple glory
my passion seems to
excite you
just as much as you
excite me
and wow
here you are
i hope the scent of you
lingers
in my clothes and
on my skin
tomorrow morning.
Sooooooooooo yeah! There it is! In my opinion, God deserves all the love letters in the world.
-Emm
