stead·fast
/’sted?fast/
adjective
resolutely or dutifully firm and unwavering.
Steadfast. That’s been my word for the summer. You see, I made the unfortunately fortunate decision to ask God to develop me into a steadfast woman of God. Now, I WARN YOU, when asking God to develop you into something, proceed with great caution. Because chances are He will develop you, and it’s not always fun. So, if the comfortable life is the life for you, I would highly recommend not asking anything of or from God.
My inspiration for such a devout life change came after a day where I almost died (slight dramatization) after being lost for about five hours on the island of Oahu by myself. Now, after finally finding myself back home, (by complete accident no less, and after two hours of lounging on the beach because it was the only thing I could find, let alone recognize (I know, boohoo(I swear it was a rough day guys))) I decided I needed some serious Jesus time. That’s when I went to James to seek out further wisdom. No, not my brother James. The book of James. And it was there that I read this:
James 1: 2-4
2 Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, 3 for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. 4 And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
First of all, Jesus is one serious advertiser, because I don’t know about you but being “perfect and complete, lacking in nothing” sounds like a prettttyy nice gig. Here’s the thing though, PLEASE for the love of the King of Kings, all that is Holy and Good, and Jesus our Lord and Savior, amen!!! Do NOT, I repeat, DO NOT forget to read the fine print. Because, In order to become steadfast you must face trials. But not just any trials — trials that test your faith. Now, I don’t think I’m alone, in fact ask any student ever and they will tell you that tests are rarely fun. But, what I’ve learned is that if we have accepted Christ as our Lord and Savior, trials are guaranteed to come. Unfortunately, “counting it all joy” is all too easy to read, while being much harder to live by. Now, with all that being said, I inevitably faced a large trial period myself. It was about two months after I asked God to change me that this trial ensued. To be exact, it was the day after the World Race’s two week, emotional, mental, and most importantly spiritual boot camp known as Training Camp. My test came at a completely unforeseen time, particularly because it was a time I had felt more stable, more secure, more steadfast than ever before. After all, I had spent the last two weeks being intensely equipped for the journey that lay ahead. Which I suppose, in true God-fashion, made it the most unforeseeably perfect time.
So, upon returning home, I unknowingly found myself quickly becoming frustrated, angry, lacking in self control, and lazy. I was becoming bitter, and the worst part was I had absolutely no idea why! As a result, I started pushing people away. I then foolishly began feeding into the enemy’s lies that no one really cared about me in the first place. After all, I had this huge financial deadline, and none of the money was coming in, not at all due to my own laziness (pft, of course not). Worst of all, I began to doubt that God was going to provide for me, and I feared that he was leaving me behind. Soon, I had become so involved in my own self pity that I began to neglect even having personal time with God. I was angry. But mostly I was confused, because I knew I was wrong, I was just stuck between a rock and my pride . The Irony? I was being extremely steadfast. In all the wrong things, however. I was unwavering in my stubbornness, unmovable in my reason and anger, and completely fixed to my own selfish pride. In short I was being very human, which is oftentimes the hardest thing to admit. And that’s when God revealed the difference between being simply steadfast, and being steadfast in Him. After all, God is the epitome of steadfast, and in an ever-changing world where everything is unstable, what a gift to have the ability to put our faith in a resolutely, dutifully, firm and unwavering God. HE IS UNMOVING, AND WILL NOT CHANGE. That means his steadfast love for us isn’t going anywhere either. So I realized that all the wrong that was happening in my life, was on me. My own pride was colliding with God’s perfect character, and if I wanted to become more like him, I would have to change. And as I released the things that separated myself from Christ over to Him, I became more able to cement myself in his image.
The reality is that rough patches exist. And they will continue to. Hardship will not disappear when I’m in Thailand simply because I know it exists. In fact, it will probably multiply, and I will most likely face persecution like I’ve never seen before. What an absolute blessing that is, because persecution and trials are not punishment, but rather preparation. If God did not love me he would not prepare me. I am so thankful for this trial, because it has allowed me to see the blessing that comes from putting my complete reliability in Christ. Because everyday is plagued with uncertain outcomes, even the promise of tomorrow is uncertain. Even the next second is not promised. To have complete trust in God, however, is so freeing. So why do I concern myself with the unknown when I can delight in the known: our steadfast and very certain God. Let’s become unshakable in our faith together; let’s hold each other accountable. What would it look like if we were all steadfast warriors of God, going out to advance the kingdom? Pretty darn unstoppable I’d think. So let the trials come, and allow them to be opportunities to press into the pillar that God is.
So bring it on Thailand, Malaysia, Costa Rica, and Ecuador. Because I don’t know about you, but I am ready to go out into the nations, a steadfast woman of God.
