The cursor on my screen keeps blinking at me impatiently as I try to figure out what to say here. I’ve wanted to blog over the last 2 months… really, I promise. I just keep drawing a blank.
I’m going to be honest and go ahead to tell y’all that I’m walking through a lot right now. The last month has broken me and built me up in ways that I hadn’t envisioned. Hopefully that explains the silence because I haven’t fully processed things in a way where I can accurately express them.
I’ve been facing a lifetime struggle of feeling like I’m alone.
I’ve been confronting the underlying causes of anger I’ve carried for years.
I’ve had my heart of stone replaced with a heart of flesh (Ezekiel 36)
I’ve been asked to let my emotions flow freely rather than suppressing them.
I’m in the process of learning to have Godly authority over those emotions, and I’m not quite there yet.
In all honesty, I came into debrief feeling very fragile. I’ve been fighting the enemy, and the Lord keeps telling me to rest. Resting will take me letting go and trusting the Lord to fight for me (Exodus 14:14).
That’s where I am. I promise that it’s good. I’m processing and I will keep y’all posted when I have some conclusions.
For now, keep my squad in prayer as we travel to India. I have a new team and they are awesome. Rooted Waters will always be my first team, but the Lord has something big planned for all of us on our new teams (I LOVE YOU LADIES).
Much love,
Emma (Erma for Swanny)
