El Refugio is the name of the place where I spent this past month doing ministry. Our workload consisted of a variety of manual labor, such as roofing, cementing & trail clearing. Often times, with ministry like this, your hosts are seen as your mission field; without many people around, pouring into your host can be a very sweet & intentional way of bringing Kingdom. Little did I know, though, that the people I would be walking alongside there would also be ministering to me.
In my time at El Refugio, I learned so many things that I will carry with me for the rest of my days.
I learned that a little adventure won’t kill me when I hopped on a zip line for the first time in my life at midnight on Valentine’s Day. I learned that sometimes you just have to ask the right questions when I played We’re Not Really Strangers on the kitchen floor eating raw cookie dough on Super bowl Sunday. I learned that a language barrier means nothing when whatever you say is said in love.
I also learned the beauty of loving without hesitation or borders or stipulations. This is something the Lord has been walking me through in baby steps throughout my Race. It hasn’t gotten any easier, but my goodbyes are becoming less bitter & more sweet. I had always been one to keep others at arms length, especially when there’s no guarantee attached to a relationship. I was so scared of giving too much of myself, not knowing that all I am is a vessel for the Lord to live & speak & love through. I spent years missing out on so many sweet memories & connections out of fear, & that is no way to live.
Coming into this first month of my Race, I never could have imagined the beauty that the Lord would replace my ashes with. Love took so many shapes & faces this month, & I will never be able to express how thankful I am that it is so hard to leave it behind me.
So,
Thank you, Benji, for being my cuarenta partner. ¡Toma! You exude the joy of the Lord, & your selflessness is evident in how you love people. We appreciate you more than you know.
Thank you, Luis, for your kind & gentle words, & for always speaking life into me. You have a really sweet soul, & the Lord uses you in beautiful ways. Remember that.
Thank you, Aurelio, for your patience & tender heart. Working alongside you has been one of my greatest blessings. You are a vessel of the Lord bringing redemption to those around you. You will never be forgotten.
Thank you, Bethany, for opening your heart up to us. You stretched your comfort zone for us time & time again, & that doesn’t go unnoticed. I admire your wisdom & boldness so much, & you’ve inspired us in so many ways. I’m so excited to see where the Lord leads you next. Wherever it is, I’m excited for all the lives you’ll touch. You’ll always have a friend in me. I’ll see you again, soon enough.
Thank you, Elliot, for being exactly who the Lord created you to be. For not shying away from vulnerability, for choosing into intentionality, & for jumping headfirst into all that He had in store for you this past month. You’re just a really special person, & I’ll always cherish our time spent getting to know you. The Lord is going to do amazing things through you, & I’m so excited to watch your path unfold. Here’s to being (real life) friends.
& thank You, Jesus, for teaching me to give away Love like it’s not mine to hold onto, because it’s not. You are Love, it’s that simple. & Love is what You have commanded me to.
It’s hard to even think of all that I would have missed out on this month if I had decided to let fear have a hold on me. I can honestly say I’m leaving this place with nothing held back, nothing unsaid, nothing unfelt.
& lastly, I’m learning that none of it is really goodbye. All the people I’ve ever really known, I always will. & I’ll see them again — somewhere, someday. No matter the circumstance, I know my goodbyes are not eternal. & I will await that sweet reunion for all of my days.
So thank you, El Refugio, for being unforgettable. I miss you dearly & I am better because of you.
I’m praying that I’ll get to see you again, but if I don’t, I’m sure there will be a glimpse of you in Heaven.
¡Hasta luego!
