Wayyy back in ‘nam (aka Vietnam LOL) I drafted a blog about what God taught me but never revised or posted it. So, here it is:
Overall, month 4 was difficult for our team. The “honeymoon” phase of the race was over, people struggled individually, our efforts to press into community started to dwindle, and the drive just didn’t seem to be there. Not to mention, Thanksgiving was our first big holiday away from home.
In Vietnam my team taught English at a school in Ho Chi Minh City. Going into the month my personal goal was to be more present in our day to day ministry. In previous months I’d noticed that there were times where I felt restless and ready to just “get to the weekend.” Throughout the month we taught English to preschool, elementary, and secondary school age students, as well as gardened, helped cook in the kitchen, and went wherever else our host needed an extra set of hands.
As I began focusing on remaining present each day, it became easier for me. I found a new sense of joy in the day to day tasks, whether teaching, weeding, or peeling hard boiled quail eggs… it was refreshing to develop a more intentional perspective in ministry, and I feel that I really grew in that respect (which deserves celebrationnn)!
However as the month continued, the Lord opened my eyes to other areas where I could grow. On our way to debrief a squadmate said, “looking back at the month I’m sure I could’ve done more than we did because you can always do more. However, I feel confident that I was open to all that the Lord had for me, and I seized opportunities when I felt prompted to speak to people about the Lord.”
This got me thinking…can I say the same thing? In all honesty, no I couldn’t. I looked back on the month and saw places where I could’ve been more aware of the Lord whispering to “do this or that” when I was zoning out in my own world, unaware of the opportunities around me. He showed me opportunities that I didn’t take during the month…opportunities that I can take going forward. Simply put, He told me that I needed to be more intentional. God opened my eyes to quite a few different areas where I could’ve given a better effort. But after reflecting on the month and coming to these realizations, I didn’t feel at all condemned. Initially I felt disappointed in myself (being a perfectionist by nature), but as I laid down to go to sleep one night, a sense of peace fell over me. I experienced a moment of clarity. I felt God gently remind me that it’s okay that I am not perfect. In the end there was pure grace and a sense of encouragement. The Lord nudged me to get back to the boldness I experienced in earlier months – a time on the race when I was conscientious, in tune with the Spirit, and ready to go where I felt led.
Going into these next few months, I really want to focus on being proactive and intentional: with my diet (stewarding my body well by eating healthier, and having fewer sweets), with getting to know my team on a deeper level, with seeing and seeking to know strangers around me, with my daily time with the Lord, with my hosts, and the list goes on!
There have been months where I didn’t meet my full potential on the race, but I don’t feel ashamed or guilty because God knows I’m not perfect. In life I will fall short – it’s inevitable. We all will! It’s absolutely no surprise to the Creator of the heavens and the earth. He knew how my entire WR experience would turn out before the trip even began. I am thankful for the challenges and adversity I faced in Vietnam because God has given me a fresh perspective and a newfound drive for the remainder of our time here in SE Asia. I am also thankful for a God that guides my path even when I start to stray. I may wander, but my loving Father always brings me back. And He will do the same for you if you let Him. 🙂
Thanks for reading!
XO, Em Q.
“for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.” -Romans 3:23-24
“Good and upright is the Lord; therefore He instructs sinners in His ways. He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them His way.” -Psalm 25:8-9
