Update time!!!
Hello family. So. It has been a little while and quite a bit has happened. We left Cambodia about 2 weeks ago. I have spent a little time in Siem Reap, Cambodia and a week in Bangkok, Thailand debriefing all that happened in the past month and preparing for what is coming. And I am now in northern Thailand, at our next location which we will be at for the remainder of our stay- up until several days before thanksgiving.
Saying goodbye!
Siem Reap
Angkor wat!!
Bangkok, Thailand
Roof in Bangkok!
Anyways! Leaving Cambodia! It was hard, but not in an outward sense and not in a way that I immediately was confronted with or understood. It hit me several days later after hours of traveling. Now, first of all, processing emotions. I have learned a lot about processing in the past year of my life. It can look different for different people, it can take different amounts of time. You have to choose it, choose to take it to your Father and let him speak his truth into it and over you. Processing for me looks like sitting with the Lord and letting myself feel every emotion. Identifying what those specific thoughts and feelings are. Why I have them. The deeper meanings. Asking the Lord to help me understand it. And going deeper still. What do you have for me, God, in the midst of these feelings. In bringing them to him, it loosens their control over me. Feelings, though valid, do not always relay truth. In practicing this, it has taught me to tune into my body, mind and spirit and let the Lord tend to it all. Highly recommend.
So while I was processing the month I just spent in Cambodia, I sat on the roof of our hostel in Bangkok overlooking the city. Just being still in the early hours of each morning, I realized that I was actually very sad. And kind of upset. Here are some of the things he helped me process through:
When I feel like it lacked purpose, he reminds me of what he is doing in Cambodia. What he did among my teammates and in my own heart. Identity and refinement. The pieces of his heart that were made so clear in their interactions- kindness and gentleness. The beautiful place he gave to help me process the past year of my life and find a lot of peace and rest.
When I feel heartbroken about the kids there, about them having to go through this cycle over and over- when I feel the worry and the weight of what they have experienced in their short lives so far, he tells me that he knew I would ache this way. And in my ache for them, he shows me more of his own heart. His heart breaks in the same way x1000000. But he is also protecting them and breathing life and hope into each space of their lives. That building is a literal structure of hope and physical representation of how much he loves them. He says I brought you here because I wanted you to learn how to trust me wholly and completely, as well as grow my discernment in you.
I have now spent a week at our new home and it has been so lovely! We arrived in Northern Thailand! We pulled up to 40+ smiling girls holding flowers to greet us. It was warm and inviting and so beautiful. The first day with them, we danced and sang, laughed and braided hair. They covered me in flowers. It was such a sweet gift.
View from our porch for the next 40 something days!!! It is literally stunning.
At all times of day.
Flowers!! And mountains!! And more flowers!!
So yeah, here I am now, in what feels like a magical fairy land on the literal opposite side of the world. What a gift it is to get to experience this life, live at the base of many mountains, share smiles and laughs with precious girls even though we speak such different languages. Here we will be conducting a sort of day camp while the girls are out of school, teaching english and singing songs. And then more manual labor once they return to school in November. I am eager and expectant to see what the Lord will do here, especially in the hearts of my squad members. You all can be praying for them, as well as for health and wellness, and also for my own heart!! Thank you all!! I will be praying for you as well. I am so very thankful for each of you!
With love, Emily
