Sawadeeka!! Hello!
In all honesty, friends and family, I have really been having a hard time writing a blog because how in the world am I supposed to share these experiences with you in all of their fullness, in a way that captures the beauty and also the really hard things. Not quite sure. But I want to continue trying because they are important. The lessons and the things I have seen, my life for the past 3 months on the opposite side of the world. It’s not just a “cool experience” or a “trip” I am on. It’s my life. Perspective is important and I want to share that with you all.
I wake up each day around 5:30, after waking up almost every hour through the night. (Sleep is not my friend here 🙂 but I’m still doing good! Don’t feel tired at all during the day) I then spend time with the Lord in the morning, walk the girls to school at 6:50 and then come back home and eat breakfast. I usually then spend another hour or two reading, writing, praying, listening. We have worship as a squad at 10am if we are not teaching up at the school, which happens Monday- Wednesday. We teach English for about 2 hours. Lunch is any time between 11-12 and then it is your choice how you want to spend your afternoon. The girls are at school so sometimes we have manual labor projects- gardening, mowing, etc. and sometimes we don’t. It is a lot of time spent with each other, myself and the 13 other girls on our squad. Sometimes we talk, sit in sun, play fishbowl, read a book, watch a movie, go for a walk or a run.
Sometimes you feel like you lack purpose. And then I am reminded of the gift that it is to get to be here- in a magical oasis just to get to sit in God’s presence. It has been really sweet time with him. I am in awe of his majesty and might and also his goodness, trustworthiness, and kindness to me. He reassures me and tends to my heart.
Sometimes you don’t like your team. And then I’m reminded that I have to choose them continually. I get to choose whether to dive into them or withhold myself. Choose to love them. And not just surface level love, but deep love. We have to choose each other- every day. Choose to fight for one another. To care enough to come along side and walk with one another to freedom. Continually choose to love deeply. And I know I will miss them terribly when we are spread across America in a week.
Once the girls get home from school, they have chores and then we all have dinner at 5. Rice for all meals. We have English in groups at 6. And then worship all together at 7. That’s a typical day in the life.
America is over stimulating and loud, whereas life here is slower and quieter. Even the big cities are not as hustle bustle. And everyone speaks a different language, so I have found that I zone out much of the noise. I know that will be an abrupt shock when I get back to the states. You guys can start praying for that- my transition back to America. Thank you all!!
One of my favorite memories is the night of birthday bash fun they have once a month- for example anyone who’s birthday is in November will be celebrated all at once at the end of the month. They had one in late October where 5 girls were celebrated. We had worship, as we do every night, except that night we sang around a bonfire and danced together under the stars. We made s’mores, laughed, ate some cake, laughed- real fun things. It was magical, full of hugs. When our host (really just the sweetest lady), brought out a small birthday cake for each of the 5 girls, they were called to the front, yet one of them started crying, hard. Sobbing even. She tried to hide. One of the older girls leaned over and told me that Soso was crying because she was overwhelmed and thankful, she had never had a birthday party before. This little 11 year old girl was sobbing because of the overwhelming emotion of being celebrated. I just wanted to scoop her right up. But I know that is what her heart was feeling from all of her fellow sisters and from her Heavenly Father. He sees her and loves her deeply. That in itself will move you to tears. What a gift to her heart. What a picture of the special gift this place is to each of these girls. And also what a convicting moment. I have cried on my birthday before because it didn’t feel special enough to me. And people may say, well it is your birthday. You deserve all the attention. Some people may be mad if their day gets spent on someone else. I have before. Or if they had to share it with 4-10 other people. But no. Not these girls. They overflow with gratitude. And thanksgiving. They shine with humility and it’s stunning. They respond in praise to their Heavenly Father, who has ultimately given them everything they will ever need. We danced and cried and laughed under the stars for a while in celebration of each of them. The Lord is being glorified in the highest in the hearts of these girls deep in the mountains in the northern jungle of Thailand. What a gift it is to get to be here with them. To get to share in that moment. To learn. And love. And laugh. And cry. And just be.
God, forgive me for the selfishness and arrogance with which I have carried myself. Please replace those things with humility and deep gratitude. Grow in me the desire to immediately respond in praise. You supply everything I could ever need. You deserve all of the glory. I actually deserve nothing, yet you still pour out your gifts. Thank you, God!!
I also love when it’s time for English each day- I have gotten the chance to be with the older girls, ages 14 to 18. Teaching English to them looks like just hanging out and talking with them. It’s SO FUN!!! We laugh and spell out words and laugh some more. They try to teach me Thai- it’s a fun time. We talk about different topics each day- cooking words, geography, verbs in general, emotions, family terms. Family is much different for them here, than in America. Here, if a husband and wife get a divorce, their children are essentially forgotten. If they get remarried, they do not carry their children over with them. There are no step siblings or anything like that. Due to this, children end up living with other relatives or are then considered orphans. Double orphans- lacking a mother and a father. Or just orphans, they may have a parent but they can not care for them. Now that all of the girls get to live here, they get to be sisters to one another. One of the older girls, Nat, has lived here for many years now. I was talking with her one morning on the way to school about her family and what it is like living here with so many other girls. She said that they have all become to her like little sisters. They all lean on one another, bear each other’s burdens, celebrate the great days. And they have so graciously folded us into their family. They call each of us “Sister Emily” or “Sister Sarah”. They extend love freely out of a gift mentality. Their love is pure, extended simply out of the fact that they know their Heavenly Father loves them and asks them to love those around them. I want to love people like that. Pure. Without expectations or condition. Love simply because you are a fellow son or daughter of the most high King- a brother or a sister. I think of my own brothers and sisters whom I love deeply and about what it would look like to freely extend that love to each individual I meet. Just imagine what could come of that.
Sisters!!
Getting our learning on
Leaving everything for the sake of the gospel comes with a cost- and sometimes it feels very steep. Loving Jesus more than my family, more than my comforts, more than fitting in with what the world says I should be doing right now. Just as my life has continued for the past 3 months in Asia, life in America has been continuing as well. I have missed birthdays, my teammates have missed relatives being in the hospital, people get engaged while you are away, or married even. My family has been in a very hard place and it has been really hard to be away from them. But the cost is worth it. It’s worth missing those things for the sake of the Gospel. For being content with just Him. For the sake of people actually moving from death to life and finding healing. For the past couple days I have just been so in awe of God’s faithfulness. Of his character. Of his holiness. And also divine plan for humanity, that eventually Jesus will be restored to his bride, the Church. I want to eagerly look forward and live for the day when I will be standing before the King of King’s and Lord of Lord’s- living in complete faith with my mind and heart and eyes set on eternity- in full assurance of all of his promises! Because they are actually TRUE! And he is exactly who he says he is! In awe. I don’t have much time left here so I’m soaking in each moment- precious and hard!
That’s all for now! Thank you all for your support!!
With love, Emily
