a few days before training camp, i went to get crepes and coffee with a sweet friend of mine. our conversation quickly led to deeper topics and we bonded over the fact the Lord has given us words. a simple word that helps us keep our minds focused on the thing that truly matters. Abba spoke the word “grow” into my life about a year ago. as i began unpacking what the word grow means to me and Abba, my sweet friend became extremely excited and told me the Lord gave her a word also. her word is “breathe”. every time she sees or hears this word, peace engulfs her. she is reminded to slow down, be still. just breathe. although i’ve met many people who have been given a word by Abba, whether it be the word courage, bold, love, create, etc, i have never met anyone who has tied something physical to their word. my sweet friend shared with me that she went a step further, not only is she reminded of Abba’s presence by hearing/ seeing the word “breathe” but she made a little pact with the Lord. she asked the Lord to show up in the wind. the wind isn’t always felt but when it is, she is reminded to slow down and to be still because Gods got it. wind to her means breathe representing the breath of God. she encouraged me to choose one thing that isn’t always there but still frequently shows up to remind me of “grow”. i knew training camp was going to be long and hard so i wanted to talk to the Lord about what physical thing could He show up through that reminded me of growth.
later, as i meditated and hung out with Abba trying to figure out what physical thing He wants to show up through, my mom walked into my room and said that it was supposed to rain ALOT during the 2 weeks i was going to be at training camp.
my first reaction to this information:
oh great…. i’m going to be outside and camping the wHoLe time and its going to be wet and icky. i cannot forget my rain jacket because i’m really not trying to have all my clothes smell like wet dog.
then my reaction switched:
growth—rain
my final reaction to my mom interrupting my hangout time with Abba was:
haha !! ok God, I see you!!! that minor interruption wasn’t a coincidence… ok God, well i’ll see you in the rain from now on. show up through the rain Oh Lord.
Training Camp Night 1:
(i’ve said this before and i’ll say it again… yo The Lord LOVES me out of my comfort zone.)
it was around 1 am and i was restless in my tent. i was literally laying in my own sweat, sticking to my sheet & sleeping pad. it was almost IMPOSSIBLE for me to sleep. but thank goodness i had bought a 4 inch rechargeable fan right before arriving to training camp!!! that miniature fan was on full blast and was the only thing keeping me from suffocating inside my tent. i was finally getting comfortable and starting to doze off then…….. my fan died. not gonna lie, i almost started crying. then i focused my mind on the fact i was getting comfortable, relying on myself to get sleep instead of being still and knowing the Lord is the giver of rest. i have never rolled my eyes so hard at the Lord, i immediately talked to Abba and said “ugh. okay dude, i’m trusting in you now. you snatched all my comfort. here i am, TOTALLY out of my comfort zone. i’m not controlling this stupid sleeping situation any more.” right after i had that conversation with Abba, it started to thunder. it started to rain.
to some who hear this story, you may think it’s silly because it’s just about a 4 inch fan in a tent. no, no. this is me, being stripped of my last attempt to control my circumstance. my last attempt to comfort MYSELF. this 4 inch fan dying in my tent followed by a thunderstorm at 1am in the morning was the first time Abba reminded me of His presence and power through the rain. He showed up through that thunderstorm and said “hey, you’re growing right now”.
Training Camp Night 2:
(healing night)
during our evening session we talked about Jesus’ power. Jesus can heal. the speaker talked about personal stories he had experienced where Jesus showed up to heal. how incredible!! yo, there was some kind of movement in the room that night. no doubt that movement was the Holy Spirit. community was formed that night. vulnerability was surging through the atmosphere and through conversations. prayer of healing was shouted out, power was present. my angel was there in the room that night. my squadmates angels were there in that room. i didn’t see them with my eyes this time but… i knew. my angel, Caden’s angel, Anna’s angel, Nikki’s angel, Nathan’s angel they were all there. in the moment i was so overwhelmed with the presence of the Holy Spirit that i didn’t connect the most beautiful piece to the story. that night we got to sleep in the air conditioning for the first time because it stormed. it rained. rain. Abba connected it all back to Him. He affirmed there was growth that happened that night. i overlooked the rain connection at first. i see it now though. sometimes Abba is silly like that, we are so caught up in his presence that we can’t connect everything, cannot see everything that Abba is showing us. Just because we can’t connect all His goodness in that exact moment doesn’t mean He didn’t show up.
A Rewarding Rain:
it rained a few more times throughout training camp. i like to think of these rains as rewarding rains. the trust and reliance on The Lord that occured at training camp showed growth. Jesus didn’t let us forget it, He brought the rains. we got to sleep in the air-conditioning 2 more times. i like to say the reason behind this was that Abba saw the growth that was happening during the days, within the squads, between racers and leadership. He let it pour to remind me of our little deal:
“rain means growth, don’t forget my presence.”
maybe it’s silly, maybe i’m wrong, but i like to think through the stormy nights Jesus was rewarding me some comfort for being so uncomfortable. Abba sent rain at night to reward me some air-conditioning comfort for growing and trusting Him soooo much.
Training Camp Day 8:
we said yes to our squad, to leadership, to The Lord. it wasn’t just three letters spoken to our people, it was a thought through process. we meditated on the fact by saying yes we would be saying yes to Jesus’ way and not the way of our flesh, of our comfort. we had a written out covenant that had us commit to 1.)a kingdom mindset 2.)abandonment 3.)willingness to grow 4.)positive attitude 5.)self governance 6.)community 7.)no romance relationships
this was no simple yes. this was a surrender to the Kingdom.
as we meditated and hung out with Abba, understanding the Yes He has already given us we too began to say Yes to Him. at different paces, each one of us began signing our covenant and one at a time took a seat in front of one of our leaders. it began to sprinkle as leadership illustrated their Yes to us by washing our feet. on their knees bent over our dirty, sweaty, unclean feet leadership spoke words over us up to Abba. a servants heart in leadership position, they cleaned our training camp day 9 dirty feet as their Yes was illustrated to us. i will never forget, as my squad lined up to look each other in the eye and say “I say yes to you”, it began to POUR.
growth.
earlier that day i sobbed with my squadmate Anna in conversation to Abba pleading Him to show up. y’all, God answers prayers. not only does He answer prayers but He SHOWS UP. He takes that extra step, He goes the extra mile for us. He never forgot my little reminder of His presence, of growth. i saw The Lord show up that day in a remarkable way. He didn’t just answer my plead, He didn’t just show up but He showed out. He remembers. He remembers our conversations and He remembers me.
after our verbal Yes to each other we got to worship our Dad. as a squad, we got to worship outside a covering as it down poured. i did not stay under that covering for long…. i ran out into that rain and fell on my knees in His presence, in His reminder of growth. i danced with Abba. i twirled and sang and laughed as God poured His “Yes” back on us.
rain—growth
much love,
emi
