understanding love has been hard for me.
still Abba persists and still He shows up. recently, He has been connecting all things back to love.
i’m a visual person, imagery helps me bind together and understand things. these past few weeks many visions have come to me in the presence of the Holy Spirit and imagery has been prophesied over me. characteristics of God and how His love works are becoming so clear to me.
to me, God is my ultimate and perfect father. He shows up and makes me feel seen. He eagerly chooses me. i’m in His embrace, i’m safe. the first vision spoken over me about my relationship with my Abba confirmed the fact i am in His embrace. although in my Fathers embrace, i was still looking away with one arm out clutching my unlocked chains of my shame. both of Abbas arms were around me but only one of mine was around Him. this vision prophesied over me showed me a new characteristic of love, Gods love is still embracing us even when your eyes nor arms are on Him. even when i choose to hold onto my past HE still chooses to hold onto me, soothing me and allowing me to rest my head being fully engulfed in love.
during one of our morning devotion times we practiced listening to the Holy Spirit. we were given two slips of paper, one blank waiting for words from the Holy Spirit to be written on it and the second a name of someone in our squad. not allowed to open the folded slip of paper that contained a name, we began to be in tune with what the Holy Spirit wanted to say about that person whose name was on the slip. my squad mate, Nikki, got my name and received through the Holy Spirit a vision for me and the verse from Song of Songs 1:2.
“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth-
For your love is more delightful than wine.”
the vision Nikki received for me was: the Father carrying me in His arms after i had fallen asleep on the couch. within His arms carrying me and tucking me into bed. the truth that the Holy Spirit spoke through that imagery was that there’s no fear in love. let Him love you. He created you to be loved by Him. you can trust that He is safe and will get you to where you need to go.
a few days later, after working through my inner shame and taking authority over my mind, in Jesus name, i became ready to release my clutch around those chains. within the presence of the Holy Spirit, in conversation with the Lord i began to receive imagery. in that moment, i was curled up in my old green cushioned rocking chair on Abbas lap. my arms cozily tucked under my chin; head softly rested upon Abbas chest. my breathing pattern rising and falling in unison to His. slowly rocking back in forth, my eyes weren’t on His face but closed and ever so often fluttering open to make sure i was still in His arms nuzzled against His long sleeve white button up. me and my Abba are unified and cozy.
God isn’t distant.
God is my Abba.
because i accept Him as Abba, i’ve started to see His dad characteristics and His love characteristics within my earthly dad.
(this totally highlights The Lord always showing up and His ability to mend relationships)
for national daughters’ day, my dad wanted me to feel seen and loved. all week he worked to have yellow flowers, from a nearby little Romanian flower shop, delivered to me. if you did not know- flowers are kinda my thing and i’m border line obsessed. also, yellow makes me joyful and it is very much my favorite color.
Side note: my dad is in Texas. i am in romania. talk ab being extraaaa… but that’s the thing about Abbas love, it IS extra, and that love characteristic does show up in my dad.
unfortunately, something with the flower shop’s website and payment method wouldn’t work from Texas therefore the yellow flower surprise delivery from dad didn’t happen. i received a text from my dad that explained all this, his upset was evident but in attempts to make it up to me he said i could purchase them myself by using my emergency credit card.
not gonna lie i was blown away by this very well thought out and attempted gesture to show me love. i didn’t go buy the flowers, but i did share with my teammates about my dad’s tender desire for me to have a yellow flower surprise.
fast forward to the next afternoon, my squad was having our x-squad UPPERROOM worship service. the floor was open to start giving glory to what God was doing in Romania, within us, or back in the states. Abba immediately placed the yellow flower story on my heart. i shared with my squad how i’ve seen Abbas characteristics and Abbas love through the mending relationship of me and my earthly dad. after sharing the story of my dad going to extravagant measures just to buy me yellow flowers, this is what Abba said to me:
“you’re my little yellow flower.”
but He didn’t stop there, He described me in depth about what being His little yellow flower meant
…-soft
…-simple
…-approachable
…-inspiring
…-encouraging
…-dainty
…-beautiful
…-intentional
these are characteristics of Dad. these are characteristics i have through Him just by being His little yellow flower.
like love does, it shows up and it goes extravagant measures to make you feel seen and unforgotten.
i came home from a day of ministry where the Holy Spirit pointed out every little yellow flower to me and filled me with joy. laying on my bed was a bouquet yellow flowers with a note that said “FROM YOUR DAD”
the story behind my flowers from my Dad:
inspired by my dad’s desired love gesture, my team leader and a few of my squad mates went to the flower shop right after ministry and attempted to purchase me yellow flowers. after picking out yellow flowers they went to pay the florist. she literally wouldn’t take the money but gave them the flowers for free. you can’t buy kingdom things with worldly currency. He was present. The Kingdom is real. Abba bought me those flowers with His love through my dad and my world race family.
thank you Abba. thanks for helping me understand love, Your love. thanks for showing Your characteristics to me. all glory is Yours, thanks for being my cozy corner.
much love,
His little yellow flower
