I have 11 weeks left on the World Race. The end of this adventurous and challenging experience is quickly approaching, and the reality of coming back to America and figuring out what direction I want my life to go in has been leaving me anxious and stressed.
Up until the race, I had years of my life planned in advance – where I was going to college, what I was going to study, when I was going to get married. I thought I had it all figured out. Obviously, Jesus didn’t agree with my seemingly well thought out itinerary and completely redirected my focus to Him, hence why I chose to put the plans I thought were secured on hold to do mission work for a year of my life.
At the beginning of the race, I continued this over-planning my life thing going and just slightly altering it to fit the World Race. I had my summer after arriving home planned out, my new college plans, where I was going to be living, etc, etc, etc.
Jesus laughed at these ideas too.
Since leaving home, so much has changed. Both inside my heart and with my family and life back in America. Everything is different – my home, my family, myself, my relationship with Jesus. Life has taken so many turns I could’ve never seen coming, just so Jesus can get me on the path I’m truly supposed to be on rather than the road I would’ve chosen for myself.
In the midst of all these changes, I’ve run into a problem – I have no solid plans for my future after I get home. After everything kept moving too fast for me to keep up, I let go of the control I thought I had and stopped making plans, leaving so many ideas and desires in its place for my future. For the first time in my life, I can’t tell you exactly where I expect myself to end up in 5 years. At this moment in time, I couldn’t even give you a confident answer on where I’ll be in 5 months.
When the realization that the end of the race is so dang close and that I have no concrete plans hit me, I had a slight panic attack. My brain finds so much comfort in schedules, itineraries, and plans and here I find myself with none of those things. Anxiety, panic and fear overwhelmed my body. But then Jesus did what Jesus does and overwhelmed me with His truths. Here’s what he showed me:
He took me to the book of Romans and brought me back to the basics.
“Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations, just as it had been said to him, “So shall your offspring be.” Without weakening in his faith, he faced the fact that his body was as good as dead—since he was about a hundred years old—and that Sarah’s womb was also dead. Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised. This is why “it was credited to him as righteousness.” The words “it was credited to him” were written not for him alone, but also for us, to whom God will credit righteousness—for us who believe in him who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead.” – Romans 4:18-24
I could keep typing out verses and paragraphs from Romans because the whole book is simply a pillar of hope and the Lord’s truths, but I want to focus on the text above – a testimony to the incomprehensible power and might of our God, the creator of the universe and everything in it. That His plans for my life will come to fulfillment, and all I have to do is give Him the reigns and have faith that He will move. It’s so simple. Where He can and wants to take my life is infinitely more extravagant, purposeful and fulfilling than wherever I could take it on my own. Hope and faith in these truths is all I need.
And suddenly, my “big problem” of not having my future perfectly planned out didn’t seem so big anymore. Because now I was truly handing everything over to Jesus and letting Him do what He will with my life, having complete faith that He will lead me in the right direction and continue steering me back to the right path when I fall astray.
Mom and Dad, I don’t want you to completely freak out and think I have no motivation to be a real adult and grow up after getting home! God has showed me my passions and core values – learning, medicine, serving, loving, dogs, family, God. Y’all gotta have some faith with me that He’ll tie all these things together and lead me there. Get excited because I’m excited for where He’s going to take me.
Having open arms to the future has never made me feel so free.
