As you can see from last month's living conditions, we were truly in the desert both physically and spiritually. In Zimbabwe, it was so hard to see God and so easy to focus my thoughts on what I had left behind and what was ahead of me. I was constantly battling to remember why I was crazy enough to sign up for the World Race and if God was even with me. During my search for these answers, God led me to Exodus 15:22-27.
In this passage, it talks about the Israelites in the desert and their experience at Marah. They had just escaped the Egyptians via God parting the Red Sea, and had witnessed their enemies' bodies washing up on the shore. At Marah, a location in the desert, they were short water for three days. By day three, the Israelites started to grumble and doubt God.
I've always felt a little judgmental towards the Isrealites during this time. I thought they were kind of weak…that I would never have reacted like that. I mean, God was so real to them–He had just parted the Red Sea, for goodness sake. How could they doubt so quickly? One second they were praising God for rescuing them and the next they were wondering if He was even there.
Last month showed me how little room I had to judge them. I had always known what would happen next in the story when I would read Exodus. When you don't know what's coming next, and water is like gold, it gets really hard to keep having faith.
I mean, we weren't even in the desert for over 2 weeks and I started to doubt. Not that I was doubting God, just that I was doubting His provision and His placement for my life. I was in charge of finding water and food for five other women, who wanted showers and needed hydration to stay somewhat sane. Just like in Exodus, God provided, and we were able to get water the stores each day with our budget, but my faith definitely faltered at times. I spent most of my month wondering where God was and why I wasn't hearing His voice.
Yet God was everywhere. There were women who knew what God's provision really looked like, because they had to depend on Him for each meal of theirs to serve Him. Many of the people we worked under last month were volunteers, who either worked 2 other jobs on the side, or sold items like tomatoes on the sidewalk to provide for themselves. Violet, for example, gave up a potential paying career as a pastor to start a school from her mother's shack. They only have enough books and equipment for ten children, and there's about 50-70 children from grades 0-7 that attend each day. She says that it breaks her heart to see the children without school and wandering around their village each day with nothing to do. She can't not do this job.
Another huge way I saw God was through worship. The worship out here is unreal. People are active participants–the only spectator is God. One day during worship, I had a vision of sweet incense floating to heaven from the country of Africa. These people are all in when they worship. There's dancing, harmony, war calls, shouts, clapping, the works. And most of the time it's completely a capella. Even the small children dance around. The five teenage girls prayed to God with more passion than I see some teenage girls express at a Justin Beiber concert in America. No joke. These people don't act like they're in a desert, because they have such a huge grasp on how much God provides and how much God loves His children.
God must have known that these American girls needed something a little more manageable this next month, because we've been blessed with our verse 27. In Exodus 15:27, it says "After leaving Marah, the Israelites traveled on to the oasis of Elim, where they found twelve springs and seventy palm trees. They camped there beside the water." He knew what was coming, and I should have known too based on how faithful God always is. Granted, there are still issues with this place (we're really in the middle of enemy territory out here spiritually…spiritual warfare is real you guys), but we have hot showers and no bugs and a grocery store with OPTIONS and I'm sitting at a McDonalds right now eating a McFlurry on the internet. And this is what my quiet time looks like:
There is always hope in the desert. God takes care of His kids. I wish I could just learn this lesson and remember it always, but it's such a process. Praise God I'm on the other side of the cross and there's grace, because I'm no different from the grumbling Israelites when things get rough. I'm just as hard-headed and stubborn and doubtful. But God is full of unfailing love, and is so slow to anger, and knows that with each of these experiences, I'm becoming more hard-headed and stubborn for Him.
　
