If you know me at all you would know that I am shy, soft spoken, I don’t like a lot of attention, I am a fan of my privacy and I am very fond of my comfort zone. When I was considering the World Race, I was scared not only leaving the US. for 9 months but also having to tell everyone what I was doing because I didn’t want the attention and have to stand out. But I pushed past it and I ended up applying anyway. Each step I took to get into the race was completely out of my comfort zone. First, I had to do an interview, they asked me questions and I had to answer completely honestly to a stranger. It was terrifying but I told myself that it will be over soon, and I won’t ever have to do it again (or so I thought).
Once I was accepted, they told me that in order to go on the race I would have to get counseling to make sure I am stable and ready to go. This no joke made me want to forget about the world race. I didn’t think I needed help and I sure didn’t want to talk to anyone and have all their attention on me. To have to once again be completely honest with someone about the hardest things in my life, yeah no thanks. After some battles with myself and prayer, I did it. The first time was terrifying and I’m not going to lie I literally cried at my first session and it was embarrassing but very necessary. I didn’t realize how bad I needed it. It was one of the most helpful things ever and I finished my last session last week and I was honestly sad they were over (I had to go 10 times).
Next up was fundraising, yikes. Nothing is more awkward than asking for money, trust me. But I did it, and now it’s a lot easier. I mean it is still awkward, but it is much much easier.
One of my squad-mates that I will be traveling the world with mentioned once that she was going to be coming to Minnesota which I was stoked about. I thought “OMG I get to meet one of them”. Except I did not want to ask, I mean what if they say no or when we meet, we don’t like each other, or it was just awkward. But I texted her anyway and I got to meet her, and her family and I am so excited to see her again at training camp.
Another scary thing was starting this blog, it sounds simple, just write what you feel. Well, it’s not that simple, it is terrifying to literally cut your heart open and give the world a tour. My first post I was terrified, I wrote about why I chose the world race which is quite the emotional roller coaster, but I did it. I don’t think I will ever get used to sharing my heart to openly, but I know I can do it. I’m still nervous even about sharing this post but I’ll just do it anyway. It’s one thing to be scared and not do it and another thing to be scared but do it anyway.
Two weeks ago, at church they had elders of our church stand in some of the corners during the service and if you wanted to you could get up and go over to them and they would pray for you. I thought about getting up but I thought what are people going to think? It will be weird, walking back to my seat people are going to give me strange looks. They will think I’m messed up. I sat there thinking these things and I eventually said what the heck I’m going to do it. So, I got up and walked over there and they prayed with me. It was great. Walking back to my seat I didn’t care if people were looking at me, I was just happy I went.
You see all these things are things that the girl who sits inside my comfort zone would never do. These are scary things that are completely outside of my comfort zone and let me tell you my comfort zone is very nice and cozy. But I got outside, and I did it, I did my interview, I did counseling and I loved it, because of my fundraising efforts and very kind and generous people I am over halfway fundraised, and I stood up in church. These might not be big deals to everyone, but they are to me. They are my tiny victories. Something I have been pushing myself to do is simply be bold. Let me tell you this is easier said than done because I am not bold. But I am working on it. Because when I am bold it pays off. The definition is “showing an ability to take risks; confident and courageous.” So, as I am taking tiny steps to be bold, confident and courageous, I challenge you all to do the same. Everyone’s definition of bold is different so define yours and conquer it. One tiny victory at a time, because it’s okay to be scared, just be bold and do it anyway.
Emily<3
