A while back, I was praying and God asked me to start writing. I didn‘t know why I was writing or to whom I was writing, but God just told me to write Him a letter. Not to Him, but from Him. I obviously didn’t know what I should say so he kept giving me words to say and I just kept writing them down. My prayer is that this note reminds you of His heart for you. My prayer is that no matter where you are or where you’ve been, God loves you more than you could ever fathom, and wants to bring you back into His home.
Do you remember?
My child. My beloved boy. My precious girl.
I think you’ve forgotten yourself. Don’t you remember who you are?
You are my pride. You are my joy. Everything I’ve ever done is for you. We had it all. You were right in my grasp. In the safety and comfort of my home, adored, cherished in my family. My dwelling place with the ones I love most! But oh my child it hurt when you pulled back too soon from our embrace. It hurt when you wanted to look elsewhere than meet my gaze. One day you chose to leave and I let you go, because you see, I love you. And love is not forceful. I let you go but my heart ached to see you leave. Every day I saw you. Every single moment was in my sight. I saw you wandering and I watched you search for everything that I had to offer. But you didn’t want it from me, so you searched in vain. You had it all. Why did you leave it behind? Why did you leave my home to find some off-brand version of my gifts? I knew you would never find what you were looking for, but I didn’t say anything, love never shames. I knew you were wasting your time, and that’s all I wanted, your time. So I just waited for you. Love is patient.
Don’t hide, my beloved. Don’t hide your face from me, don’t be afraid to meet my gaze. I’ve already seen it all, there’s no secrets between us. I saw the times when you felt like you were on top of the world. You truly thought you were invincible, you wondered how life could get better and I didn’t understand, you didn’t even realize you were standing in the middle of a wasteland. I saw the times when you were at rock bottom, too. I watched as you cried yourself to sleep, it hurt me to. I was there my child. I watched as you tightened your grip to the people, the accolades, the material things that pulled your gaze from me. I was there when you thought about ending it all. Why didn’t you just look up? Just for a second remember me!! You’re absolutely filthy, come home so I can clean you up. Just look at me, my son! My daughter! Just for a moment remember who you are!!
But I will say this, I was jealous. I was jealous because I knew that I was the only thing that could ever satisfy your groaning. I was jealous because nothing else on this world was worth your love. I watched as you kept giving yourself away to people who didn’t know how to hold you, they didn’t know how to love you. I could’ve helped them do better if they knew me and could hear my voice. It hurt me to see you like this. You were so reckless with who you gave your heart to, my child. I created you to be loved and cherished. Come back home and heal.
Darling, my plans have never been to cause you pain, but I had to bring you back to me. I couldn’t bear another minute to see you fumble through the dark. I couldn’t let you hurt yourself one more day. If you saw someone you loved standing in the line of a speeding vehicle, wouldn’t you tackle them out of the way also? I know it hurts, because I feel it too. But I had to protect you from something far worse. I hope you can understand one day.
My child. My honored son and my beloved daughter. You are so loved. I remember when you were small, the way you explored and the way you wondered. I loved the way you ran without a care in the world, nothing scares you. I loved you then and I love you even more now. You have so much depth to you. You’ve been through so much and you’ve walked through too much of life on your own. Come home, your room is still yours. I haven’t moved a thing. You don’t have to be “better” before you get here, come as you are.
Beloved, understand this.
I see you. I know you. And I’m not going anywhere.
Remember who you are. Come home.
