I spent some time in Chico this weekend in between shifts at the shelter. It’s the first time I’ve been back in the five and a half years since I graduated.
Everything has changed, and nothing has changed.
Walking through the red brick buildings, drinking coffee from Mondo’s, crunching yellow and red leaves under my feet, all brings back vivid memories of my time here. It’s the most stomach-wrenching nostalgia, drenched in sweet gratitude, that I’ve ever felt….. gratitude for everything that has taken place in my life, everything that has taken place inside myself, since I left this beautiful town. The places I’ve gone, friends I’m made, and things I’ve done… 9 years ago I couldn’t even have dared to dream them a possibility.
Who knew the life I’d be living now? Who knew, as I walked these pathways to anatomy lab in the rain 9 exactly years ago, where I would have gone? Who I would become?
Everything has changed…. and nothing has changed.
I’m not a different person, I’m just closer to who I always was created to be. The Lord has given me a place to put the incredible love and passion for His living things that has been bursting inside for as long as I can remember. A phrase that keeps repeating in my head is “The fullness of becoming”.
This is the fullness of becoming.
It hasn’t been easy. There have been some lessons during which I felt so awful I learned it faster, hoping to never feel that way again. And there are still so many things the Lord is working on with me and I am still learning, every day.
It has been a great privilege to look back and see where God has brought me from, through, and to. To whom God has brought me up to be. In five years from now, what will I say? Let’s find out.
P.S. my post about Africa/Israel is on hold while my computer is being fixed 🙁
P.P.S. it’s super hard to be this open and vulnerable.
