July 6, 2017. After a 6 hour drive, I pulled into the World Race training center driveway at 4:36 pm. My stomach had fallen to at least my toes if not farther and my anxiety had easily reached outer space levels. I was surrounded by and about to meet the people I would be spending the next year with who I’d only seen pictures of, talk about pressure. You might think that after 6 hours in the car I would have come to some rational reasoning to my plethora of fears, but I had somehow managed to do just the opposite. Little did I know then that God was about to radically change my life in those next ten days at camp, and He was about to turn those fears around to bring Himself glory.
Throughout the first half of the week satan came after me hard. He played on my insecurities and fears telling me I didn’t deserve to be at this camp, I definitely didn’t fit in with these other super awesome racers, and he made me believe there was nothing more that I could offer to my group that others didn’t already bring. Why was I even going on this trip? Though this time was quite awful and lonely, God used it to bring me to a place of complete dependence on Him. I had lost all confidence in myself and what I could personally do. I remember, on what I think was the fourth day camp, I was walking down a gravel road to my camp site and I had about reached my breaking point. I was overwhelmed by my fears of rejection as well as other insecurities, and as I was about to break down in a pool of self-doubt and self-pity, I so clearly heard God say to me “But Emily will I be enough for you?” Yall this is no joke. My breath hitched and I stopped dead in my tracks. This was the first time in my life that I had realized and truly believed that no matter what, no matter who’s rejected me, no matter what I felt or what others thought of me, none of that really ever mattered. Because the creator of the entire universe sees me, knows me, and is proud of me. That will always be enough for me. I wish I could explain the freedom that came with this. He is my confidence. Now that I think back, I believe Christ let me get to that place of being completely lost in myself so that when He did speak, I would stop long enough to actually listen.
The past ten days of training camp have been far from easy. They stretched me mentally, physically and spiritually much past what I thought my limit was, but I wouldn’t trade these days for anything. I met some pretty amazing people, did some pretty amazing things (Green Squad for the squad wars win whoop whoop) and encountered a pretty amazing God in a lot of new ways. And this is just one story, but I have so many more! So if you’d ever like to hear the others, give me a call! I’d love to tell you all about how breathtakingly beautiful my God is. He loves us so well.
Here’s an update on my fundraising!
I currently have reached my first goal of 5,000 dollars as well as bought most of my gear for the trip! (yay God)
My next fundraising deadline is August 22 at which time I will need to be at or above 70% of my final goal, so around 10,000 dollars! I have already made some head way on this second goal, but still need around 3,500 dollars to reach it. If you would like to join me in this adventure Gods taking me on by donating, you can use that link right up there^, or I’m also selling T-shirts. But above all I ask that you would all spend time in prayer for me and the other racers going on this trip. And I really mean above all else. If God was not in the center of this trip, then I would not even want to go. Please pray He would begin preparing our hearts for the trip as well as the hearts of all the people we will get to encounter!
I can’t wait to see all He is going to do!
~M
I don’t think there is anyone who needs God’s help and grace as much as I do. Sometimes I feel so helpless and weak. I think that is why God uses me. Because I cannot depend on my own strength, I rely on him 24 hours a day. If the day had more hours, then I would need His help and grace during those hours as well. All of us must cling to God through prayer.
-Mother Teresa
