Looking back on my past with redemptive grace, I can see the desire in my mother’s heart for my thought processes and decisions to be wiser, to be God centered instead of the immortal, self-seeking place my immaturity took me. As I recognize growth in myself, I see and love that who I’m becoming is who my mom has always been.
In some aspects of my life, I’ve been walking in complete denial, living like one decision didn’t directly affect another. But I’m seeing that life, the life you’re living right now, EVERY. DECISION. MATTERS. Every thought counts.ONE thought can be planted, can grow and linger for years….and if you’re not diligent, that one thought can give birth to years of despair.
When I was younger I remember someone making a comment and it pierced my heart, the thoughts my mind developed ran wild, eventually manifesting into massive insecurity. Decisions from this insecurity played roles in losing what I considered to be my earthly “love of life” — I chose to marry a man without really ever consulting God in that decision, leading to a divorce soon after; on multiple different occasions I invited sex into committed relationships, and ended up experiencing the devastating pain of two miscarriages.
So even though years ago I literally would’ve laughed if someone said all this to me, thinking my thoughts and some decisions “are not a big deal”…I realize this is serious stuff y’all!!
It needs to be shared because if it’s not discussed and addressed, the Master of deceit and lies can penetrate even the strongest foundation.
Once I recognized and understood this enough to change my daily thoughts and decisions, I’ve begun shaking my past self, working to fully forgiving her, encouraging her, and then swiftly turning my back on her because she’s dead. And this is a choice, a daily choice, choosing to turn from who you were, what you did, the thoughts and lies you believed, and as soon as you even think to pivot, Jesus knows and is right there showing His face.
When I thought about a “pivot”, I immediately saw a basketball game in my head (bear with me through this analogy and please don’t over analyze it!)—
We’re the point guard in this scenario. We have the ball, headed in the wrong direction, and we choose to stop and turn and change courses. Jesus is wide open and jumping up and down in excitement, grace and love…He has a straight path to the basket. He wants the whole ball, but He’ll block for you; He boxes out for you; He shares with you; He makes a way for you… just decide to throw Him the dang ball….Everyday!! Because He’s always there; He’s not going anywhere!
What’s so amazing is Jesus doesn’t just stand there when you pivot, He runs to you (He’s not just making a screen bc he knows that’ll be called a foul – for those who can’t help themselves). He’ll run the rest of the distance to you, no matter how far that is…all just because YOU turned!! He understands that sometimes you truly can’t move that back foot, and like most of us do at some point or another, you’ll be going around in circles never actually progressing, so He meets you where you are.
But if you don’t pivot, you won’t see He’s wide open and jumping for you, delighting in you, and because Jesus is the perfect gentleman, He won’t interject. So you have to pivot, y’all!!
I’m so passionate about this. I find myself fighting harder for myself, but also others!
I’ve seen Debs (my mother) in me because sometimes I’ve been fighting for others harder than they are willing to fight for themselves!!
So I’m choosing to become more like Debs!! Debbie Cate is a warrior. She’s silent strength. She’s a God fearing woman. She’s my hero. And I can say she’s my mother!! Wow!! #grateful!
Do you have the faith it takes to start to pivot? What will it take for you to pass the ball to Him?
~In Love~
Emily Cate
