The bible says “Love is patient, love is kind, love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance,” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. In other words, love is so much more than an emotion. I’ve grown up in a world that uses the term love so loosely. I’ve always thought I had a pretty good idea about what it meant to love someone. You value them more than anything else, you stay by them no matter what, and you occasionally make sacrifices for them when it is necessary. But love is so much more!
I never realized how little I understood what it means to love people until my recent trip to Haiti. When going on a mission trip, whether short term or long term in your community, a different state, or overseas, it is repeated over and over that we are there to love on people. But what does that really mean? How do we truly love on people? When I went to Haiti last year, I thought I had a pretty good idea. I had to be nice to people, show them that I cared for them, and teach them about how God’s love is so much greater than mine. But this year it became clear to me that my idea of love and how to actually love on people was only beginning to scratch the surface of how God calls us to love.
As I sat in the road (probably not the best place to sit) with two other girls on our team and around eight little kids I got my first glimpse of what love is. These little kids, who couldn’t have been older than six taught me that love creates change. Love has the power to change the attitudes of many. As we sat in the street, a crippled young girl came and sat by us. She was unable to walk on her own and had to rely on someone to help her. At first she seemed unsure of us, but she came and sat down anyway. We began to talk to her (using what little Creole we knew and could remember) and doing our best to include her in everything to show her that despite her differences, she is still loved and has no less value than the other children. And simply by smiling at her and showing her that someone cared for her created this huge smile that continued to spread across her face and would not go away, even after we left. And then by bringing her to the back of the house we were working on to pray with us made her smile grow even more. It was hard for her to get to the back alone, so by us taking the time to help her be included instead of just leaving her made a huge difference. Her smile was absolutely gorgeous, and each time it grew it became even more beautiful. Through her smile at the end of the day, you could see pure joy that wasn’t there at the beginning of the day. Her eyes at the beginning of the day showed signs of uncertainty and fright, but in the end, the shone with love and delight. It was through simply taking the time to get to know her that we were able to love this girl, and my eyes were opened to the impact it can have on just one person.
As the week went on, I learned that there is so much more to love than what we experienced with these little kids and more specifically that one girl. I learned that loving people is a conscious choice. While in Haiti, loving these kids and people we were with was easy because that is what we went there to do. But it made me think of the difference between Spencer and Pignon. Why don’t people in America have the kind of love for each other like there is in Haiti? Why is it so easy to love people while I’m in Pignon, but when I come home showing people that I care for them is not a priority? As I continued to think about this, I finally realized that loving people at home is “hard” because I have chosen to make it hard. I have not made an effort to try to love people. Showing someone I care for them is a choice I have to make, and back home in our fast paced society, I was always “too busy” to do that. I never chose to get to know people or show them love like in Haiti. It made me realize that loving people is not just something to do every now and then, we are called to choose to love people no matter where we are or what we are doing.
These are both incredibly important things that I finally began to understand about love, and there are so many more examples I could use in describing my new understanding of what love truly is, but most importantly, being in Haiti reminded me that love is not just meant for people. It reminded me to look at the love that I have for the one who loves me without ceasing and unconditionally. Over this past year I have learned to trust God with so many things and my relationship with Him definitely grew significantly, but it wasn’t where I wanted it to be. Yes I trusted God and wanted Him to guide me as I prepare for graduation, the Gap Year, and then college after that, but that was the extent of it. Before this trip He was just kind of a higher power who told me what to do and how I should live according to His plan for my life. We had a relationship, but it was very superficial, and I was content with that. But while in Haiti, there were several instances where I knew God was showing me that I was missing something truly amazing because I didn’t love Him like I should. What hit me first was that God does some incredible things. He is always there and has done so much for me already in my life, and because of that He deserves endless praise. It was through being with the guys who helped translate for us that this became clear. They’re all very close to my age, so we got along very well and we listened to music almost nonstop. At first I didn’t think anything of it because I tend to listen to music a lot and really enjoy it, so it wasn’t anything strange or new. It was just some nice background music. And many of their songs were Christian songs, so I knew them because that’s the kind of music I generally listen to. So I could sing along to them if I wanted, but that’s all I thought it was. Just a nice little sing along session. But I eventually noticed a difference in the ways we sang along to the songs. I noticed how they would frequently use the words of the songs to praise God for what He has done in their lives and show Him how much they truly love Him. They used something simple like a song to show God the love they have for Him and used every opportunity to do so. It made me realize that even though I go to church every sunday, I listen to Christian music, and I’m very active in youth group and other church activities, that doesn’t mean I love God. My relationship with him was lacking one key component: love. I trusted that He could take care of me, I wanted Him to guide me in the next phase of my life so I can fulfill his plan for my life, and so much more, but did I truly love Him? I began to realize that my faith had a firm foundation, but it was still weak. And then one night they played the song “Somewhere in the Middle” by Casting Crowns and it all made sense. I was caught in the middle of fulling living my life for Christ and doing what I wanted. Those guys opened my eyes to what needed to change in my life, and then after hearing the song and really listening to the words, I began to understand how to change and why I needed to change. This trip showed me that trusting God isn’t enough, I need to love Him and praise Him every chance I get. God never leave and He has already done so much for me, so why would I not want to praise Him for that and love Him because of it? But more importantly, this week in Haiti showed me that my relationship with God was nowhere near where I thought it was. We were acquaintances before the trip. I talked to God, but only when I needed something from Him. In the song “Somewhere in the Middle” one line talks about a deep water faith in the shallow end. And that is when it finally clicked, I thought my faith was amazing and my relationship with God was fine right where it was at. But in reality, I was just sitting in the shallow end. Having a deep faith in the shallow end is impossible, I was caught in the middle and there is no middle ground when it comes to God.
This trip taught so many things about love. I learned how to love people and what that really looks like. But more importantly, I learned how to love God and why it is so important. He has always been there for me, loving me despite my flaws, guiding me when I am lost and have nowhere to turn, and never gives up on me. And because of this, he deserves endless praise and unconditional love.
