CS Lewis says: "die before you die, there's no second chance."
Before the race I lived a life that would say to God constantly through my selfishness and disobedience: are you worth it? God, are you worth the sacrifice? Are you worth people calling me crazy?Are you worth leaving my father, my mother, my family? Are you worth me walking away from friends? Are you worth laying aside my agenda? Are you worth me giving up my wants and desires?
Are you worth my life?
My life was mediocre, mundane, BORING. And my view of The Lord was the same….mediocre, mundane, BORING. Week days were a never ending cycle of work, eat, sleep……and the weekends resulted in me trying to escape the monotonous pattern of my life by engaging in temporary fillers. A life that when I would lay down at night I would say…. "There has to be more than this".
Now here I am, five in a half months later, half way through this thing. And if I had to say what these last five and a half months have taught me, it would be how to live.
One surprise that i wasn't expecting is that Living looks nothing like I thought it would.
Living
is sitting under the stars on a random beach in Honduras talking to your teammates about dinosaurs.
Living
Is telling a little El Salvadorian girl that she is smart, intelligent, and beautiful.
Living
Is hiking up a Guatemalan mountain, with everything you own on your back, in the pouring rain, and not knowing if your strength alone will be enough to get you there.
Living
Is shoveling a pile of sheep, pig, and chicken poop that has been sitting for 7 months, discussing life's biggest unanswered questions in Albania.
Living
Is playing volleyball with gypsy kids for hours in a village in Bulgaria and not wanting to go home.
Living
is having epic dance parties on a Wednesday night just because you can.
Living
Is reading a scripture you have read so many times and getting a fresh and new revelation from it.
Living
Is building relationships with people knowing that in three weeks you will have to pack up and leave.
Living
Is getting in front of a youth group sharing how God rescued you from a life of addiction and heartbreak, and feeling his presence wash over you and him leading every word you say.
Living
Is sharing with your team your deepest fears and biggest mistakes.
Living
Is hearing stories of young men and woman, addicted to heroin and prostitution, coming to know Christ as their Lord and Savior and living sold out for the gospel.
Living
Is combing lice out of a ten year old girls hair trying not to stare at the fresh wounds on her back where her father just hours before "drank too much".
Living
Is hugging a woman who doesn't speak your language after she just found out her mother died.
Living
Is going to bed every night being physically and emotionally exhausted, knowing you didn't have anything else to give
Living
is forgiving that person who hurt you the most.
Living
Is laying down your Isaac on the Lords alter, and walking away.
Living doesn't always mean it's going to be easy, cheery, or fun.
Sometimes living hurts. Sometimes it brings pain.
Sometimes it sucks, and you would rather just ignore it.
Living is dying.
Paul says in Philippians 3:7-8, 10,11 " but whatever to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more. I consider everything a loss compared to the surprising greatness if knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him……. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to obtain the resurrection from the dead."
We get the option of living eternally with our Father in heaven, because of his death.
But we have to die first.
Die to our flesh.
Die to what the world says we should be.
Die to our sinful desires.
Die to sin.
Then, and only then, can we be resurrected back to live in Christ's fullness and his purpose for our life.
So, live.
