A Letter To The Man That Broke My Heart
The lights of the city are mesmerizing. Sounds of Usher echo through the bars. Tuk tuk’s speed past as tourist and locals alike scramble around the streets. Siem Reap is one of a kind. A city of adventure, entertainment and pain.
Yesterday we were blessed enough to do ministry with the Adventures In Missions leadership board. They were visiting the Overflow Guest House for a check in, and it just so happened that we were the lucky team that got to spend a few days with them. Our ministry with them was going to be night ministry. Which consists of just about everything you could think of: playing with kids, praying for the poor, talking to bar girls and lady boys. But currently our main focus was on women’s ministry.
We paired up 2 world racers with 1 person on leadership staff. Joell and I were partners and we had the wonderful opportunity to show Doug around Siem Reap. During our tuk tuk ride into town with Doug we briefed him on the little we knew about Siem Reap at night. The secrets and pain that hide in the shadow of the tourists blasting music and disco lights.
Once arriving to town we began to do basic prayer walks. Introducing Doug to some of our local friends. Asking the Lord to lead us to whatever He had in store for that evening. We had a wonderful time praying with locals, laughing with friends and just spreading genuine joy to the people of Cambodia. It was nearly time to go, so we began our trek back to our tuk tuk. I had a great time but I still felt unsettled.
Just as I started to get discouraged we ran into a man walking in the opposite direction of us. We literally ran into him. Turns out that the man was completely blind.
This was it. This was the opportunity the Lord had been preparing us for all evening. After getting to know him a bit more we learned a few things. His name was Sonny. He was 27 years old and he was born completely blind. I had been praying for the Lord to give me an opportunity to witness His miracles. And I surely thought this was it. Doug began to pray over him first. Nothing happened. Again Doug prayed for healing over the mans eyes. Again, nothing happened. I thought this can’t be. So with shaking hands and sweaty palms I began to pray for healing over the man. Nothing. I felt tears well up inside my eyes. But God, why? Why would you not heal this man? Why didn’t it work? As I felt the negativity start to take hold of me, I looked up to see something even more miraculous. This man had tears in his eyes. He began to call us mother, father, uncle and aunt. He began to shout “Amen!”. “Amen!” he repeated. “Jesus.” he said. Jesus. No, he could not see. No, his eyes had not been healed. But his soul had. His spirit had rejuvenation. He knew that Jesus was the man who brought him these new friends. New voices to chat with. New hands to hold. It wasn’t about the mans eyes. It was about the man.
I had wrote in my journal a few days before for Abba to break my heart for what breaks His. And this was it. My heart shattered. Here I was getting frustrated that immediate results weren’t happening. While all Sonny could do was sing praises of the Lord’s grace. I had everything. He had nothing. And I’m the one doubting my faith.
Sonny broke my heart. He broke it and repaired it again. He taught me to always be grateful for what I have. He taught me to never doubt the Lord’s faithfulness. He taught me that repairing the soul is what matters most.
So while Sonny’s eyes might not have been healed right then in there. I have faith that Papa will restore Sonny’s eyesight. I know this because God is good, always. God’s will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
So to the man that broke my heart, thank you. Thank you for restoring my soul. Thank you for uplifting my faith. Thank you for breaking my heart.
