Sitting in class the other day I felt overwhelmed by God's love.
Here I was, sitting in the back row and trying to pay attention to one of Shakespeare's lovely, yet not so comprehensible sonnets, and His love just washed over me and flooded my heart. Some of this wonderfully amazing and ethereal feeling may be credited to my enormous cup of coffee that has a tendency of making me feel, well, awesome – but there is no doubt in my mind that it was the Holy Spirit reminding me of God's vast and omnipresent love.
In that moment God felt so close, I just wanted to whisper – I love you too – (I didn't in order to avoid an awkward conversation with my neighbor) but it's a wonderful reassurance to know that He already knew that without me even saying a thing.
Last year, as I was prophesied over, one thing that stood out in the mans prayer over me was his encouragement to truly understand and accept God's grace and love, before I go out into the nations.
I understand now what he was talking about, but it took me a while to get there.
***
As I look back on childhood there are a lot of simple things that I misunderstood.
In second grade, I told my teacher that I knew exactly where I came from: I was a little French (I'm not), a bit Swedish (I am), a bit German (yes), and a lot Minnesotan.
Or the simple confusion between a white board and a wipe board.
Or not knowing the difference between Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson (big difference)
And hearing over and over again in Sunday school that Jesus loves me, but not understanding the simple truth beyond that declaration.
When I realized that it is not even possible to be “Minnesotan” and that, indeed, Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan are very different people, my mind was blown.
Now imagine how far in space my mind would be after the seemingly simple epiphany of the outermost layer of God's vast love.
Pluto. Yupp, that far away.
That's where I was in class that day, not even trying to understand what the heck Shakespeare was saying anymore, because there were bigger fish to fry and all of this emotion was being contained in my body, with my coffee… and my oatmeal. It is safe to say I was about to explode.
***
There are many things in this life that we will try to contain, try to grasp, and yearn to understand, but that's what is beautiful about His love: In its' entirety, it's unattainable.
Sometimes we have glimpses into just how beautiful His plans are when we witness His creation.
Other times, His Spirit moves within us, gives us chills and uncontainable giggles during worship accompanied with feelings of complete peace.
And oh, how I just want to bask in these moments, bundle them up and save them for rainy days.
What we feel here on earth, is just the tiniest fragment of what He can offer us, and it is still the most powerful and amazing thing in this world.
I can't wait to experience His complete presence and love, one day, with a glorious cup of coffee.
